Elias and Isla meet Ellery for the first time!
As most of you probably know, Baby #3 made her appearance on Friday, May 6th! We are so happy and have been having a wonderful experience learning to be a family of five. I have been debating how much of our birth story to share in blogland - it just seems like a birth story could very easily turn into way too much information. Instead of not sharing our experience at all, I decided I would just have a disclaimer. So here it is.
THIS IS A BIRTH STORY. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE DETAILS STOP READING :)
The evening started out far too normal for my liking. My sister's wedding was right around the corner and the last thing I wanted was to still be pregnant. I had tried everything in my power to try to jump start labor but nothing was working. I had been told I was 2cm dilated and 75%
effaced so I did it all - walking, drinking gallons of raspberry leaf tea, cleaning, carrying around 35lb and 20lb children, the same thing that got me pregnant in the first place, more walking,
jumping on the trampoline...I am sure I am forgetting something but you get the point. At this point I had been expecting to go into labor for over a week as my exam that determined how far dilated I was had been 9 days before. I had two bouts of contractions but neither of them progressed into anything and I hadn't had any contractions for 6 days. I was insanely swollen and was getting acupuncture to help relieve the pain and swelling but knew the only real relief would come with not being pregnant anymore.
At 1am I started getting a stomach ache and knew this was probably "it!" The contractions were tolerable but didn't really seem to ever stop. I went back and forth between bed and getting up until I couldn't stand the thought of laying down again. At that point I knew it was time to wake up Brian. I woke him up at 2:30am and immediately told him that I waited as long as I could to
wake him up and now we were in hurry mode to get the kids out of the house and call the midwife. I called my Dad while Brian called our midwife, Marla. Everyone arrived about 3am.
Elias and Isla were taken home to Mimi and Papi's house. Marla did an exam about 3:30am and found I was 6cm. Brian had the birthing pool set up and ready by that time but we had run out of hot water so it wasn't very full and it wasn't very hot. I was expecting more relief from the water but didn't really get it until we got more hot water in there about 45 minutes later.
I was experiencing back labor and couldn't believe how much my back was killing me. Brian had a pitcher and poured hot water over my back - a couple times he missed and got my hair which caused me to yell at him because I was already freezing cold. I apologized after the birth but all in all I am pretty impressed that I only lost my temper a couple of times.
Based on my birth with Isla, the thing I was most concerned about with a home birth was the pain. I would never claim to have a high pain tolerance and with Isla it got to the point where I was crying with every contraction. I knew pain was my biggest fear and my greatest obstacle and I didn't really know how the situation was going to turn out. Toward the end the
contractions were so intense and although I *think* I wasn't ever screaming I am definitely glad the kids weren't around - because it certainly wasn't a silent birth. Although the pain was incredible I never experienced a real moment of doubt. I knew pain meds weren't an option yet I never felt completely overwhelmed by that like I thought I might. It is incredible what a sense
of control you can experience when you are in your own environment and allow your body to work on its own terms.
With Isla's birth I became overwhelmed by the contractions and allowed myself to start mentally breaking down. At that point the pain became overwhelming and I had morphine. Once I had the morphine my contractions went from every minute to every 10 minutes. This caused the doctors to order Pitocin which in turn made the contractions more intense so I had an epidural. Once I had the epidural I found it difficult to get a sense of when I needed to push because I couldn't feel what my body was trying to do. Brian and I knew we didn't want to have this vicious cycle of intervention which leads to even more intervention to happen with Ellery's birth. We wanted to honor my body, God's plan, and the birth process and felt a home birth was the best way to achieve that - we were not disappointed.
At about 5am Marla asked me if I needed to push because she thought with the ways things were progressing that I should be to that point. I told her it was hard to explain but I felt like I should be pushing but physically couldn't. She looked concerned and had me get out of the birthing pool to examine me. At that point she said the baby was being blocked by something. That little something ended up being a hand. She helped me move Ellery's hand with a couple
of contractions and at that point I got back into the birthing pool and began pushing. Again at about 6am, Marla mentioned that I was doing an excellent job pushing but she thought the
baby should be out by now based off of the strength of the pushing. At that point we realized Ellery was making her appearance face first rather than head first. It wasn't a big deal but just took a little longer and a little extra bit of effort. At 6:21am our baby entered the world. I had thought I wanted to catch the baby but found the best position for me to push in was on my knees which made it difficult to try and grab the baby so I changed my mind at the last minute and asked Marla to grab the baby. The cord was wrapped around her neck but unlike Isla's cord around the neck this was very gently unwound without anyone getting frantic.
There was nothing quite like that moment when I turned over and was handed the precious baby that I had worked so hard for. There was such a sense of accomplishment and relief but all of those feelings were overshadowed by unbelievable love. The baby cried right away but
quickly got nestled into my chest and just snuggled peacefully and contently. It was quite a few
minutes later when Marla asked me to lower "him" into the water more. At that point I said "Oh! It's a him?" and Marla replied, "Actually I don't know. I didn't check." So I pulled the baby away from me for the first time and was absolutely shocked when I saw it was a girl. I was 99% sure this baby was a boy and hadn't really even imagined it being a little girl.
My placenta hadn't fully separated and it ended up being over a half hour later that it was delivered so in the meantime Ellery and I just cuddled contently in the birthing pool with Daddy's arms wrapped around us. It was so peaceful and quiet. There was nothing frantic or rushed and there was very little speaking. Everyone just seemed to be very much in the moment. Once the placenta was delivered, Brian cut the umbilical cord. I was losing a lot of blood at that point and got moved onto the bed and had a shot to stop the bleeding. Brian had Ellery and I ended up having three baseball size blood clots. After that we started the over-an-hour long suture job while Ellery and I tried to figure out nursing.
After I was all stitched up, I wanted to try and use the restroom. It is a very short walk from the bedroom to the bathroom but on the way back I passed out twice. I have never passed out before and thought it was the most bizarre thing ever. I would start to see spots and then I woke up from a deep sleep in which I had been dreaming to someone calling my name. I saw Marla and listed to her tell me I passed out and realized I was on the floor but didn't remember who she was or that I had just had a baby. A minute or so later the same thing happened again, except this time I woke up to Brian laying me in bed. Later Brian told me that although it was only a couple of seconds I immediately started snoring and was convulsing - yikes! Brian had made me a huge breakfast while I had been getting stitched up and I ate a ton and immediately started to feel better, albeit weak and tired. Ellery and I got snuggled in bed together and rested all day long!
Brian was an excellent source of support and I really couldn't have done it without him! For the first hour after I woke him up he was running around getting the kids out the door, making phone calls, and setting up the birthing pool. Eventually though I just had to say "enough" and insisted that he not leave my side again - and he didn't. Through all of the contractions Brian worked to comfort me in any way possible and through the hour and a half of pushing he didn't let go of my hand (I was kind of afraid it was going to be like the movies and my husband would have a broken hand at the end of it all). When I refused a bed pan and catheter but was too weak to stand or walk, Brian carried me to the bathroom every time I had to go - now that is the kind of nursing and attention every woman would be lucky to have. For a week I did not
step foot into the kitchen and woke up every morning to a hot breakfast and perfect caramel latte. I cannot put into words how wonderful it was to recover at home and have my husband's full attention and care. The kids and I relied so heavily on him, yet he didn't lose his patience and served us all with love.
Ellery has been such a joy! I feel like all I do is nurse and hold babies but I really enjoy loving on my kids all day - although the middle of the night feedings aren't without their frustrations. It has been so wonderful being in close proximity to our families. They have helped us so much and it has been great to have them around to share our happiness. There were a couple of times when Brian and I just looked at each other in exhaustion and expressed to each other that we were overwhelmed. So many more times though, we have looked at each other and smiled, exchanging in the glance and moment a sense of deep happiness. More than anything, the birth of Ellery has once again been a time in my life where I am acutely aware of God's greatness and so thankful that our plans are not His.