12 and Holding

Yesterday I got a phone call from Julie from AGCI. Julie is not our case manager but called to tell me our case manager was on vacation and would not be calling me next week. Julie gave me an update on our status (a week sooner than I was expecting). We areStill no movement in the land of referrals. I asked Julie why things were at a stand still. She said they are trying to recover from the bountiful referrals from the previous couple months. Julie said they needed time to gather the legal documents for children before the referrals could be made. So hopefully all those papers get gathered soon and the next wave of referrals makes it this way! Meanwhile we are remaining surprisingly patient and at peace with no movement. School is keeping me busy. I have also applied for an adoption grant and have a few more applications waiting for me as soon as I can get to them. Brian just agreed to coach soccer again this year and try-outs are keeping him busy. So luckily we have enough going on in our lives to keep us from being able to dwell on our status for too long. We are still so happy to "just be on the list."

THANK YOU!!

We would like to thank all of you who have supported us with the financial aspect of our adoption. Our baby bottle change banks have brought in just over $2600 and there are still more bottles out there!

Thank you to: Emily, all of Emily's friends, co-workers, and classmates at APU, (including but not limited to: Heidi Verkade, Jonathan Reyes, Laura Hoppe, Matthew Cohen, Jessie Duncan, Lauren Ratiani, Patty Graffius, Bill Catling, Becky Roe, Dave McGill, Kaitlyn Jensen, Kat Smith, Julie Kellen, Katie Wallace, Andrew Miller, Michael Meramble, Ivor Thomas, Kari White, Leah Woodring, Nilce D Johnson, Melissa Molina, Rebecca Hanhe, Ryan Palmer, Jordan Vena / Eric Osburn, Tannia & Ian Shankster, Justin Clavell, Chris Hall, Brittnay Taylor, Sam Wong, Lindsey's Family, Laura Wong, David Danforth, Matthew Cohen), the Talcott Family, Jeff Campbell, all of those who helped Jeff fill up those bottles, Deanna and Fred, Don and Gloria Ellingwood, Leroy Lopez, Lee's tennis buddies, the Whitright family, the Lee family, Richard and Joanna Wang, Aunt Tammy and Uncle Dan, DIS, Grandma and Grandpa Saddlemire, the Havey family, Ms. Patty, the Hines family, True Value, Keith and Helen, Doug and Cindy, Jenny Dawson, Ramones BBQ, Bob and Gay, Clara, Kathryn, Kathleen and Jeff, Mom and Dad G and the MANY people who have helped them fill their bottles, Carl and Tina, our church youth group - Josh, Zach, Krystal, Amber, Shawn, Brad, Austin, Sammie, Danyella, Sara, Kyle, Taylor, Lori, all of Lori's friends in her credential program, the First Pres youth group, Nathan Cornett, Friendly Ground Cafe, Washington International Church, Katie for her corrdination, Carlie and her church in Carson City, all of Brian's co-workers, (including but not limited to: Christine, Christina, Cristana, Victoria, Madel, Tina, Eva, Marivic, Cy, Gabby, Celeste, Maricel, Shawna, Amy, Kristy, Grace, Appolonia, Anthony and Jen), Grandma and Grandpa Gossett, the Freshours, the Pridgeons, Amanda, June and Charlie, Aunt Linda, Aunt Linda's friends and co-workers, Jessika our favorite hair stylist.

We would also like to thank all of you who have made generous donations.

Thank you to: Lee, Paul our favorite Australian, Richard and Joanna, Mom and Dad T., Aunt Tammy, Megan Bradley, Aunt Linda, Grandma Stalker, Christine Leow, Ms. Jackie, Aunt Kelly and Uncle Joe, Bren and Jen, Ryon and Jenny, Tannia and Ian Shankster, Debra Byrd, David Snider, the Saddlemires, Shari Prosser.

I am sure I have failed to mentioned some names and I apologize. We truly appreciate you all.

We have been so blessed by the support and generosity of those around us. We pray that God will bless you all as you have blessed our family. What really amazes us is how many people we do not personally know who have heard our story through friends and relatives and have given to us. Thank you for the love you have shown our family (both present and future members)!! As the Ethiopians would say, AMASAGNALAHU ("thank you" in Amharic, although I can't vouch for the correctness of the translation).

~Love, Brian and Autumn

Big Change

There has been a big change in the process for our agency. Families are now added to the wait list as soon as their dossier is completed. They no longer have to wait for their FDL in order to be on the list. Since we are already on the list this change does not effect us. We are very excited for our blog friends though who have been waiting for that special piece of paper who can now be moving up the wait list while they wait for their FDL. Congratulations!! I was praying for Amy, that her FDL would come soon so she could be on the list. She hasn't received that piece of paper, yet God has answered prayers by changing the rules! We can't wait to hear what numbers you all are.

The reason why this change has taken place is because the referral time is slowing down :(. There have been no referrals in over 2 weeks now which is drastically different than the movement the last couple months. So, we are still holding on at #12 and glad to at least be a number on the list!

Dossier Is In D.C.

Our dossier has been sent to the State Department and the Ethiopian Embassy in Washington, D.C. for authentication (1-2 weeks). Once it is back in the AGCI office it will be sent to Ethiopia (1-3 weeks) and translated (1-2 weeks). Then it waits just like we do!

Here's what happens once we accpet our referral:

*Once we officially accept the referral of our child, AGCI will submit our dossier along with the child’s information to the Federal Court of Addis Ababa. At that time, they will look over just the child’s information, make sure all is in order and write a letter on behalf of the adoption. (2-3 Weeks)

*AGCI's coordinator will pick up the letter and submit the whole file and letter to the Ministry of Women’s Affairs (MOWA). They will review all the information, including our dossier and approve us or request more information. (2-3 Months)

*Once the file has been approved by MOWA it will go back to the Federal Court of Addis Ababa where a court appointment will be scheduled. This will be scheduled up to 2-3 weeks later.

*Once the court appointment has been completed a Court Decree is issued. (1 Month)

*Once the Court Decree is issued AGCI will request the passport to be issued for our child and the U.S. Embassy Appointment. This U.S. Embassy Appointment is when we will travel to Ethiopia to pick up our child!!

So as you can see it really would be a miracle if we received a referral (which could take a couple/few months) and passed court by the end of July. We remain confident that if it is meant to be even this miracle could happen!

IN AWE!!

Why the large #12 you ask??? BECAUSE WE ARE #12 ON THE BOY'S WAITING LIST!!! So here's how it all happened...

We went downtown this morning to the San Diego division of the USCIS (Immigration) office. We were called in almost immediately. Daisy, the same lady who helped me before sat us down in her office. She reviewed our homestudy. She looked up our fingerprints and printed them out for our file. At this time I still didn't know if we were going to get the approval today. I think I sighed really loud on accident because she said "I just have to run a couple more background checks before I can give you your approval." I started apologizing and saying "Oh, no problem. We can be very patient. This is such an exciting day for us. Ramble, ramble, ramble." There was a lot of typing and date stamping and inital writing going on over at her end. After what seemed like an hour but was probably more like 20 minutes she handed me a paper. I said "Is this the approval?!?" She said, "No that is your receipt, the approval is printing out right now." AAAHHH!! She handed it over! While she was finishing up a couple things in our file I asked "Why is it so fast in San Diego?" She said, "Well we think it's a really exciting thing and there is no reason to wait so we just try to do it really fast." Daisy, you ROCK! San Diego, you ROCK! I did say I would send her a family photo as a thank you. She has a whole bulletin board going in her office. So cute! I was really bummed we couldn't take our camera in.

Here we are showing off our I-171H aka Favorable Determination Letter (FDL) aka Adoption Gold and how much we LOVE San Diego!

Next we walked to the car. I had this bad feeling like I was missing something and I was going to call AGCI and they were going to say "Oh, we can't put you on the list until X." My worries were unwarrented because we have the power of prayer on our side!! I was nervous to call Martha (the Program Director at AGCI) because I have only ever spoken to Christy. Christy was really bummed that she doesn't work on Tuesdays because we thought we might be calling in. Martha was very nice. I introduced myself because we had never spoken. She seemed shocked that I was calling and said,

Martha: What's going on?

Me: Um, we just got our FDL!

Martha: NO WAY! (giggle of unbelief). Didn't I just read your home study last week?

Me: Yeah. I know. This is crazy!

Martha: This is the fastest adoption I have ever witnessed. You guys just contracted with us in February.

Me: I know we didn't think it would go this fast.

Martha: Are you ready?

Me: YEAH!!

Martha: Ok, let me see here, let me do some counting... You are #25 overall of people on the waiting list. And, um, #12 for boys. Now some of our families are on the boys and the girls list so that doesn't mean that there necessarily has to be 11 boy referrals ahead of you.

Me: Yeah, I understand.

Martha: If referrals keep coming in like they have, you might squeek by with a baby before the courts close.

Me: That's what we are hoping and praying for.

Martha: You should definitely have a referral by July, so if court doesn't pass in July we are looking probably at October.

Me: Ok, thanks so much!

Martha: I can't wait to get off the phone and run downstairs to tell everyone about the fastest record for an adoption EVER!

Meanwhile, Brian was snapping photos!
So, we are number 12 on the wait list. IF referrals keep coming like they have (which over the last two months means an average of 5.5 referrals a month) then we could have a referral in June! I have been praying for about a month now for a referral by my bday (June 11) and PASSED COURT by Brian's bday (July 29). I keep saying it would be a miracle but today we are one giant step closer to that miracle being a possibility!!

WOW! Praise the Lord for answered prayer!! We are so excited!!!! (And Brian is nervous. After we heard we were number 12 he started chewing off his fingernails). It's REAL!! We are gonna have a baby (Lord willing, soon)!! We know we are moving along so fast ONLY because of God. He must have a very special little boy planned for our family who needs us sooner than we could have ever thought was possible...

Small Snag

We hit a very tiny paperwork hang-up with our dossier. After reviewing everything, AGCI found that our local sheriffs office had notarized our clearance on a date previous to the letter being written. I called the sheriffs office and of course was told "that is impossible." It should be impossible but it wasn't. Luckily they realized their mistake and were helpful about getting me new papers. We will be stopping by to pick up new clearances tomorrow to send to AGCI. Once the new clearances are in, our paperwork will be forwarded on to D.C. because everything else was perfect!!

Buh Bye!

On Friday afternoon we sent the dossier (massive stack of paperwork which is a culmination of everything anyone could possibly want to know about us) to AGCI. Christy should receive it this morning and check to make sure I didn't make any mistakes. Once everything is approved then it will be off to Washington D.C. for the couple week journey of authentication. Once authenticated, it will be sent back to AGCI. Then AGCI will send our completed, authenticated dossier to Almaz, our facilitator in Ethiopia. She will have it translated into Amharic. Once we accept a referral, Almaz will take our completed, authenticated, translated dossier to the courts on our behalf. Crazy to think that soon there will be people in Ethiopia who know just about every detail of our lives. So, good bye dossier. Although you were a burden I remain positive that you will surely be worth it all in the end!

Nesting

Today I got off of work early and somehow found myself wandering around Target. Actually, it was more like spending 45 minutes walking very slowly down every single baby aisle. I didn't buy anything and had no intention to do so. Not knowing the age or size of our baby has made it incredibly easy to not shop. Every time I see something cute I can logically talk myself out of buying it because if I did I might just be creating a really large return pile for myself. We actually haven't purchased anything. I just wanted to be around baby stuff. I have been looking for bedding because I am feeling like I need to get my act together and start turning the now guest room into a nursery but I can't find anything I like. The more I look the more I realize I am just not a classical Pooh person. Brian called me a Pooh-hater today and I'm not, I swear, it's just not me. I found some things that I think I kinda like in the catalog at Target. They are from JJ Cole and are a touch more modern rather than really baby/nursery feel. If they weren't $200 I might be more willing to settle on these that I like rather than holding out for something I love. I would like to try and find them in person though to see if I do end up "loving" one of the sets. Luckily Brian doesn't laugh too much at my antics. A while back he said "it's not weird Autumn, you're just nesting. At least I think that's what they call it."

I am also acting a touch like a hormonal pregnant lady, but the emotional adopting lady counterpart. I chopped off my hair. Approximately 7 inches. I walked into the salon, looked at my hair dresser and said, "I want Mom hair." She was laughing, I wasn't. I don't know exactly why I did it. My hair has never been this short, at least not since elementary school. I was hoping it would make me look older so I might ward off some of those "you are too young to be a Mom" comments. I don't think it worked. Also I was starting to think about maintenance. When would I have time to do my hair with a baby? Babies love to pull my long hair and I just didn't want to deal with that every day. Maybe it was a control thing. So many things in life right now are so out of my control so I made a controlled big decision. Enough psychoanalyzing myself. I have no idea. At least it wasn't one of those hair traumas where you cry for 3 days later.

Here is a picture of my "Mom hair." Brian and I went to a 30th birthday disco party. There are a lot of qualities we have that will make us good parents. Although looking hot in our groovy disco duds isn't one of them - it's certainly a bonus!

Thoughts from Brian

After enjoying the nearly 3 months now of Autumn's posts I figured it's about time for me to share about how the adoption process has gone and how excited I am to know how close we are to bringing our son home. It's hard to imagine that just before Christmas Autumn and I shared with our families our intentions to adopt and here we are now about to be placed on the wait list to some day very soon meet our son who we've been praying many months for! I've been known to be a bit more emotional than Autumn and going through the adoption process is no different in bringing that out in me. It makes my eyes swell up with tears and my heart beat faster thinking about someday very soon having our first child in my arms. Autumn, to her credit, (along with the diligent work of our adoption agency and social workers) has made it her goal to make sure all the tedious paperwork has been completed accurately and quickly. I really think she's out to set a record for shortest paperwork phase. I don't know if it's anything special to say someone's "good at paperwork" but when it comes to paperwork, Autumn's the best.

Now that all the paperwork, or most of it, that we must complete is finished it's time to wait. . .

Not something either of us is good at, but one thing we've learned even at this stage of the process and that many adoptive parents learn, is to be patient. Patience will be important for us once we're on the wait list and see our names start at the bottom and move to the top as we anxiously await the referral of our child. To know what he'll look like, how old he is, how healthy he is are questions we have already discussed and are questions we so eagerly await to be answered. We know now that much like our decision to adopt in the first place everything is in God's hands. I pray daily for our child wherever he is, however he is, for his family, for their health, and that someday soon he'll come home safely with us.

Adoptive Parenting 300

Tonight was our third parenting class. We focused on grief and loss. It was very interesting to hear a couple of "worst case" scenarios both at infancy and adolesence. Intersting, scary, intimidating... I think the biggest lesson I took away from tonight is it won't be perfect. The transition for our child is huge. The transition for us is huge. Everyone involved is placed in unfamiliar roles so there will absolutely be bumps in the road, we just need to be as prepared as possible to work through those frustrating and trying times.

We are finding that we have fun discussing our adoption process with other in process adoptive parents at our class. It's so nice to be able to share ideas and learn from one another, compare notes about our process, etc. I really wanted to find a support group of families who have adopted from Ethiopia here in San Diego that we could join. Apparently, there aren't any. When I asked Michelle (Adoption Alliance Program Director) about this her reply was, "No there aren't but you should start one." I actually laughed out loud. How intimidating. I wanted to join a group to learn from other people cause I'll admit there are so many things about parenting, adoption, transracial families, and Ethiopia that I don't know. Since there are three of us in the class who are adopting from Ethiopia we wrote down e-mails and I am going to disperse the information. Disclaimer: this does not mean that I have any idea how to organize a support group nor am I starting anything official, I'm just a good e-mailer :) Hopefully we can continue to get together, learn from one anothers experiences, and share in the ups and downs of adoption.

Home Study Approved!

Wow! Just when I think things can't get any faster our home study gets approved after the changes were just submitted last night. Have I told anyone how awesome Lori, our social worker or Michelle, our program director at Adoption Alliance are? They are so FAST!

We will receive our notarized copies of the home study tomorrow (Thursday) night at class. We can then send off our DOSSIER to AGCI on Friday. On Tuesday morning the 8th (walk-ins are only accepted on Tuesdays) Brian and I will go downtown and hand in our home study to immigration. The way the San Diego office does this is different than others. We turned in our I-600-A application in person back in February. I was then given that same day our fingerprint appointments for a week later. So they have had the completed application and fingerprints for a long time. We have 1 year after our fingerprint appointment to turn in our completed home study. There is a good chance that we will be handed our approval when we turn in the home study on Tuesday but there is also a possibility that it will be mailed to us a week later. Either way - we are so close to the WAIT LIST!! We can't wait to be a NUMBER ON THE LIST!

Home Study

Martha reviewed our homestudy and asked for a few more things to be added. Lori submitted those changes last night so hopefully by the end of the week we will have notarized copies of our homestudy in our hands.