Last night Brian made Pasta ala Brian (yes it is as fancy as it sounds). I was supposed to be eating my appetizer and drinking my wine while he finished up. I could NOT sit still. I got up from the table 4 or 5 times in the course of a half hour. All the sudden I had a blast from the past. When we were younger we always listened to Patch the Pirate in the car. There we were, the Talcott family, in our chocolate brown Dodge Caravan bumping Patch the Pirate children's praise songs. We LOVED Patch the Pirate. Most of my memories of this time only include Emily and Chuckie although I am pretty sure the very young versions of Jake and Alex were exposed to Patch too. One of our favorites that we loved to sing along to was Wiggle Worm. As I was abnormally wiggly at dinner this song popped in my head. So, here you have it - Wiggle Worm.
Everyone asks me if I'm nervous. I say, "no, not nervous. Just excited." Then I hear things like, "yeah, right." No REALLY - I'm NOT nervous. Just EXCITED. Ask me on the plane ride over...maybe then I will be nervous. Who knows? Maybe not.
I do have a worry. I must confess. For all of those who have been talking to me the past few weeks you are probably sick of hearing about this but I am worried Elias will be sick or will get sick. I know there is no point in worrying. I know there is nothing I can do about it if he is sick but try my best to get through it. Here's the deal. I feel confident in my ability to care for a baby. Especially a baby who by all accounts is happy as long as he is being held. Now my arms might fall off holding our 18 lb. chunkster all the time BUT if he just wants to be held and loved on then we've got this in the bag. Diapers, bottles, piece of cake. Plane ride home makes me a little scared but recently I have been going with the attitude we will do our best and if our best isn't good enough at least we will never ever see anyone on the flight ever again!
However, throw a sick baby into the mix and I will be hit hard with the fact that although he is ours, we don't know him. We don't know what makes him feel better when he is sick. He doesn't know us so we won't be any comfort to him. For some reason being sick goes beyond the physical for me - I guess the thought of him being sick and my fear that I won't know how to make him feel better hits the deeper issue that although his name is Besufikad Brian Gossett, he is a stranger to everything but our hearts. In our hearts we know him but we know nothing about the real physical baby. We don't know what makes him smile, giggle, cry - he is a stranger.
I want him to know I am his mom. I want to be able to pick MY son out of a crowd. I want to understand what makes Elias happy. I want to feel like his mom. It will come. I know it will. I also know it will take time... That said, how can you prepare your heart after waiting and dreaming for so long that on the day you meet the REAL LIVE BABY he will be a stranger?
2 days, 3 nights - WE'RE COMING ELIAS!!!!!!!!
I've never even met my son yet and I already did a "bad mom" thing. I am sure it won't be the last. I wrote a blog post today and in my excitement about having 2 new brothers I forgot it was my son's 6 month birthday. Good thing he has a Mimi who remembers him and reminded me. So... here are 6 things I love about Elias.
4) Pick up What To Expect Babies 1st Year after it sat on the bookshelf for a year
5) Cook a bunch of casseroles and freeze them. Mostly just because I've lost my mind.
6) Plan at least one date!
7) Collect DONATIONS
8) Make the baby's 1st Dr.'s appointment - Friday the 13th!
9) Go to 10 different stores 10 different times to buy things we "need." This includes feeling the need to use all the $5 off Similac coupons I have been collecting for the last 4 months. Woah this stuff is expensive - especially when you buy 2 months supply in 2 days "just so we have it." Brian likes to laugh at me about this one. You would think I would be preparing to recover for a C-section the way I am stocking up like we are never going to be able to run an errand EVER again.
10) Make piles, pack, unpack, make new piles, repeat.
11) Get the car serviced - again note the mindset of never being able to run an errand again. This is not a road trip yet I wanted my tires worked on, my brakes fixed, an oil change and a tune up before we left. Really, I'm losing my mind.
12) Plan a "sprinkle" for my Mom because I don't want to miss it! A sprinkle is a shower for kids after #1. I will post pictures on Monday :)
13) Practice with the Moby wrap. I think it will come in handy with our 18 lb. hunk of love. Yes, a 6 month old who weighs at least 18 lbs. (he was last weighed 3 weeks ago so I am thinking it might be closer to 19 lbs.) Woah!
14) Wash bottles. Sterilize nipples, teethers, pacifers, etc.
15) Baby laundry!!!!
I wanted to document all of our firsts! I had Brian take a picture of the first load of baby laundry. I was too chicken to ask the cashier at Target if I could take a picture of my first purchases of formula and diapers. Maybe that is best. That might be a little bit overboard. Hopefully I won't look back and mark that down as a life long regret. :)
16) Pack all of the baby's clothes, blankets, and wipes into the smaller duffle bag which will be my carry on. We think between our carry-ons and personal item carry-ons we will only use 1 of our 4 bags for our family of THREE and can use the other 3 bags for donations.
17) Finish this stage of the adoption paperwork. Yes, there is more. And no it will not be done once we get home. Actually we will be doing adoption paperwork for the next 18 years. Ugh!
18) Rearrange my entire house. We have already reorganized and cleaned out every cupboard and drawer in our kitchen. The bathroom and closets are next! Again, losing my mind.
19) Keep doing crazy things to stay super busy so the next WEEK flies by!
20) Whew!
I will leave you with a wonderful memory! This is me calling Brian to tell him we passed court and ELIAS IS OURS!
"A" told Emily he wanted to change his name when he came to America. Emily told him Mom and Dad would let him pick a new name if that is what he wanted. "A" proudly announced that he already knew his new name. When Emily asked what name he wanted he said "Peter. Like Peter Parker." He then went and changed his name on the white board from "A" to "Peter A." Can you tell these boys LOVE Spiderman??
We will be arriving in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia February 1st and meeting Elias on Monday, February 2nd!!! We are thrilled beyond words! We don't have flights yet but we imagine we will be flying out January 31st (a mere 3 weeks from Saturday!) and returning approximately a week after the 2nd.
