Faith

45 days ago I had just enough faith to write this verse on our paper link representing December 31st, our court date.

Our court case is over. The verdict has been made. We both did sleep, although not peacefully. Thank you all for your prayers. We truly felt your support and until late last night when we both became restless and antsy, we spent the majority of our day in peace and confidence. Now we WAIT. Definitely the appropriate four letter word for adoption.

We remain hopeful and confident; actively surrendering each moment as we wait upon Him in faith; trusting in His unfailing love, compassion, and mercy; God's will be done.

36 Hours

36 hours until it is 8am on the 31st in Addis Ababa, the day our case will be at the Ethiopian federal courts.

Please keep us in your prayers over the next week. In 36-44 hours our file will be in the hands of a judge who will decide if everything is in order for Elias to legally become a Gossett. We ask that you pray everything is in line for this to happen. We are very ready to meet Elias and have him be a permanent part of our family. We will be praying BOLDLY the next couple of days and ask all you who have journeyed along with us this past year to do the same.

We ask specifically that you take a moment and cover our family in prayer at 9pm PST on December 30th (8am on the 31st in Addis).

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

5 Months Old, 3+ Months Waiting

Elias is 5 months old today. We have been waiting over 3 months since our referral call and we are 9 LONG days away from court. Here are 5 things we love about Elias:

1) How good you look in blue (every picture we have EVER seen you are wearing blue!).
2) Your saucer like eyes in every picture. We heard this was because you are scared of the camera flash.
3) Although we have yet to experience this, we hear you are a JOY and a DELIGHT and we love that about you!
4) Your curiosity. Your Dad is so excited about showing you everything and was thrilled to hear you are curious!
5) Your ability to bring so many people together in excitement and anticipation! You have us all on the edge of our seats (and minds) waiting to FINALLY meet you!!

Due to the time difference between Ethiopia and the U.S. we know our court appointment will be sometime between 9pm PST on December 30th and 7am PST on December 31st. Although this will be our first (and hopefully only) court appointment, due to the earlier paperwork mishap that lastest for a couple months we are on a similar timeline to some families who are already on their third court appointment (we are thinking of you Shannon). That's not to say we deserve to pass any more than anyone else...just to say that this has drug on far longer than we anticipated. If we pass on the 31st and if we travel before mid-February the timing will be perfect for us to continue pursuing our current understanding of God's calling for our family of 3!

There are a lot of big "what-ifs" in our lives right now and we are curious and excited to see how God directs. More than anything we are VERY READY to be united with our baby boy forever.

Please join us in praying for:
1) a successful court date the first time around (OUR GOD CAN DO IT!!!)
2) peace for Elias' birthmother who will need to appear at court
3) peace as we wait until the week of January 5th to hear the verdict
4) continued clear direction for the near future

We ask specifically that you take a moment and cover our family in prayer at 9pm PST on December 30th (8am on the 31st in Addis).

"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus... God will make this happen for he who calls you is faithful."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, 24

Our Story (Part 2)

If you missed Part 1, click here. Fast forward to Spring 2003. After only one semester at University of the Pacific in Stockton I moved home. During this period of lots of floundering I had finally made plans. I was going to Azusa Pacific University in the fall. I was living with my grandma and working on mending a tattered relationship with my parents. This started by having dinners with the family and eventually turned into them building on a bedroom so I could move back in.

During one of these family dinners I walked in the door and who do I see standing in the kitchen? Brian. I was shocked. All I could think about was my Mom was in big trouble for not warning me. My hair was pulled up and I was wearing scrubby clothes. Ugh. My shock and train of thought must have lasted an awkwardly long period of time because I was interrupted with my Dad saying, "Autumn, say 'Hello, Brian.'" Oops. "Hi Brian." We chatted for a while and I told him about my plans to go to APU which Brian combated in a slew of reasons why I should instead consider Point Loma. Anyway, turns out Brian was there to discuss a job offer my Dad had made him of being the youth pastor at the church and living in Alpine.

A couple days later I just had my hair done and was all dressed up for a date with a guy from high school. He bailed. So I went inappropriately dressed up to my brother's little league game with my grandma. Who is there? Brian. At least I looked good this time. We sat and talked. My grandma teased me like crazy about how she sat at just the right spot so I would have to sit by Brian but she could also have a bird's eye view. We chatted about how nice Brian was and how whoever ended up with him would be really lucky.

Brian took the job at the church and now I was going to see him at least once a week. One day I was hanging out with my brothers and they told me Brian had invited them to go to the snow (30 minute drive) and he said I could come too. They proceeded to tell me that they didn't really feel like it and were probably just going to stay home and play video games. Excuse me?? I think not. By this time I had a pretty full blown crush and I shamelessly begged and bribed my brothers to PLEASE hang out with Brian. Begged. Pathetically. They had compassion on their pathetic sister and called Brian and acted like they wanted to go and told him Autumn would be tagging along too. We all had a fun time. We dropped them off at home and Brian took me down the street to some family friends who I was house sitting for. He asked if he could come in and change into some dry clothes. I said of course but was wondering why after a 30 minute drive in wet clothes he couldn't make it the 1/4 mile back to his house. I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie. He said, "actually I need to go rearrange my furniture." Unbelievable. You have got to be kidding me. I sat down on the couch, MAD, and started watching my movie before he left. I figured he didn't even deserve me saying good bye with a STUPID turn down like that. About 15 minutes into the movie Brian was still standing behind the couch watching the movie. 30 minutes into it he sits down on the other couch. Now I am really confused and thinking maybe he is interested. We didn't say a word to one another. Geesh this guy is hard to read. At the end of the lamest movie ever (SwimFan) Brian asked me where to buy some flowers because it was his Mom's birthday and he was running late for a family dinner. YES! Now I was sure he was interested!

A couple days later I dropped the siblings off at youth group. Brian asked if I wanted to stay. I said "no." I went home and rehashed everything to Jennifer (a family friend...whose house I was staying at while my room was being built). I told her how much I liked him. She yelled at me for not staying and told me I HAD to go back to the church. So, I went back. And sat through youth group just to be around Brian. The most unbelievable part was there was another girl from the church who was even 2 years older than me doing the SAME THING. Haha, she didn't stand a chance. I wanted to invite Brian over after. I chickened out. I begged (again) one of my brothers to invite him over to watch The Bachelor. I don't remember who caved but one of them did. Brian came over and sat through The Bachelor with my family. Poor guy. I walked him out to his car to say good night. It was freezing cold outside and I didn't have a jacket. We must have said good night about 10 times but 4 hours later we were still standing outside. We talked about going back into the house. We talked about sitting in the car where it was warm. We talked about going to his house. Each time though we were afraid any sudden movement would end the moment and we would really have to say good night. Somewhere in the ballpark of 2 or 3 am I snuck into Jennifer's house to turn in for the night. I was probably mildly hypothermic from 5 hours in the freezing cold but it was all worth it.

The next day we went to my sister's waterpolo game. Brian was there and our first picture was taken, not so secretly. I was hoping he would ask me out that night but he had committed to going to a lecture with his friend Dave. Late that night I got a phone call from Brian asking me out to coffee. That night. It was already 10pm. I was housesitting for my aunt now so me sans curfew was all for it. I don't know how we had anything left to say to one another but we ended up talking for another 3 or 4 hours at Le Stats.

2 days later we went to a music festival. Brian then took me to Coronado where we walked on the beach. The wind was really blowing so I was holding my hair back from my face. Brian still argues that was me "begging" for a first kiss. Not even. But I didn't mind. We then had our first dinner date where I actually ate orange duck. I was definitely still in the "trying to impress" stage. After that we saw each other every single day and talked constantly. We were inseparable and couldn't be happier.

I didn't want to be making huge decisions about my future because of "a guy" but that is exactly what I did. No one ever spoke of Azusa again (at least until my sister went there). We all just kind of knew that now I was staying put. I never consciously made the decision to not go... I just never sent in the first payment and ignored all other letters I received.

The first time I met his extended family was at his brother Kevin's college graduation party. This was also the first time Brian referred to me as his girlfriend. We never had a defining the relationship moment so I was shocked but thrilled.

June 11, 2003 (my 19th birthday)

After 3 months we were "in love."

Summer 2003 youth group event to Magic Mountain.After 6 months we were talking scenarios of marriage and children.August 2003 beach camping trip with the youth group. Almost exactly 1 year before we would be married.We took Arabic together for a semester and this was a dinner date when we went to eat Arabic food.

After 9 months, on December 21st 2003 we were engaged. Brian proposed on the beach at Coronado very close to the place we had our first kiss.

Kevin and Lori dressed up as old people so they could capture the moment without me noticing.Our engagement was followed by a surprise (for me) engagement party. My parents were on a cruise and my Mom still holds a grudge against Brian for not waiting 1 day so they could be there too.

9 months later on August 14, 2004 Brian and I were married on Coronado.

Now four and a half years and lots of memories later, we are taking our life together to the next level...and we couldn't be happier! I love you, Brian.

News About Elias

I lied. Not on purpose though. I know I said Our Story Part 2 was next but it isn't. My friends just got back from Ethiopia with their babies and here is what they had to say:

From Liam's Mommy!
I saw your boy! Your son smiles EASILY and is very happy. He is so handsome and filling out. Your little man is very happy and beautiful. I got to spend about 15 minutes with Elias one day and about 15 minutes over the next few days. He is very easily entertained and very alert. He loves attention but not in a high maintenance way. Every single time I saw him he was happy as a lark. Kicking, smiling so sweetly. Entertaining himself. I told him (in a very confidential whisper :) that his Momma was coming and he gave me a huge smile. I kid you not. We had a very special time with him. He and Liam even held hands for a little while (in a very culturally appropriate way :). He seems really curious and wanting to asses every situation. All you have to do is smile at your little man and he gives one back very generously in return. Autumn he is a delight!

*I am so glad that Bethany said Liam and Elias are friends because we decided a long time ago that they were going to be BFFs... I guess if they are meant to be BFFs they should probably like each other.

From Sitina's Mommy!
Autumn--your little guy has his photo album in his crib. So adorable. He is perfect by the way. Well loved and exceptionally taken care of. :) He is a great kiddo. I held him a few times and played with him and put him down for a nap. He weighs less than Sitina who is 16 lbs and 9 oz. But not much less. He is round (great belly) and serious and very healthy looking with a smile when he gets attention. He is just a fab little guy. He is a joy Autumn :)

I am so blessed to have friends who made an effort to spend time with Elias and report back. Brian and I were so thrilled to hear that he is happy and healthy! With the exception of legally being his parents, healthy and happy is all we can hope for! It was also fun to hear about his forming personality. Serious, but smiles easily with the slightest bit of attention. Sounds like a good combo of Mom and Dad. We always gets a kick out of hearing about how "round" he is. Brian has a round face and so we always expected our children to be round; it is so funny that Elias fits that expectation.

Tis The Season

I know it is already December 17th (YEAH!!!) but I just put up Christmas decorations last night.

I got a wonderful present in the mail but had to wait until I did my decorating before I could share pictures. Look at these stockings! Aren't they GREAT? Thank you Aunt Cindy...we love them! I know it's not the same as a fireplace but it's the best I have.Are any of you thinking (like me) that we have space for another stocking on the "L?" If you are, talk to Brian. I tried to talk him into going straight from 0-2. I gave up after about 6 months. After more recently begging him to let us start another adoption asap I finally gave up on that one too and told him I would let him decide when it's time for #2... the latest I heard was he wanted to start trying for a homemade baby about this time next year, so we might have 2 years with an empty "L." Hmmm... we'll see if I can wait that long.

Things have been really busy around here. It's good that time is flying. Unfortunately no matter what degree of busy we are, it isn't enough to distract from the fact that we miss our baby boy. Brian and I often talk about how wierd it is that we actually feel the void of our son not being with us when in fact we have never experienced his presence. It's really an odd feeling to have such a deep love for someone you have never met. Even stranger is the fact that we miss him so much but have no idea what it is like to have him around. So, I guess you will just have to trust us on this one. We miss him and love him and it actually hurts to be separated.

Congratulations to Amy, Dominique, and Andrea on your travel dates...January 10th will be here before you know it!!

Our Story Part 2 will be next...I just have to gently take apart my scrapbook and find a scanner, but it will happen.

B-U-S-T

So our fundraiser was a BUST! We arrived at 7:45 and our first customer did not come around until after 11am. We then had about 6 people from 11 until 1:30pm and racked in a whopping $26 in those 6 hours. It was freezing cold for us Southern Californians (50s) and it was misting outside. What this added up to was few shoppers and even fewer who wanted to wait outside in the almost rain for their presents to be wrapped. So, after the Starbucks and breakfast burritos it took to keep us there that long we made a profit of $6.

Thanks for all of you who donated wrapping paper. Looks like I won't have to buy any this year. Thanks to both Moms and Lori for helping us out manning the booth. It's the thought that counts.

We are down to 15 days until our court hearing. Please keep us in your prayers as we feel our chances of passing the first time around are probably 50/50. Although we are still a few weeks away from a public announcement, we are still pursuing PLAN B and at this point we are financially invested. In order for PLAN B to continue to work out we need a MIRACLE! We need to pass court on the 31st and travel no later than the beginning of February. Please join us in praying for God's perfect plan to succeed as we have faith that these mountains are not beyond HIM!

Barely Hanging On

This is how I feel. Barely hanging on. I need this to be over soon. 20 days until court. PLEASE pray we pass on the 31st!

"The Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!" Isaiah 30:18 (thank you, Nell Ann)

Bummed!

After a morning of pins and needles we heard the news we were hoping and praying we wouldn't hear. The orignial of the needed document did not arrive in time for the court date and the judge did not accept the faxed copy. My parent's have a rescheduled court date of late January in which the judge needs to see the original document. Estimated travel is now late February. We are all bummed for a number of reasons. First of all we want the boys here! Secondly, my parents were really hoping to see Emily shortly after Christmas. It's hard to tell if she is getting homesick, but we certainly all do miss her and the holidays will be difficult.

Brian and I are trucking along in our wait. We are approaching 3 months since our referral. I used to think counting the numbers waiting to see a face was the hardest part. Not any more. When we got our referral of Elias I felt such relief - like everything we had been waiting for had finally come. That cloud 9 feeling lasted for about a month. Now each day just gets more and more difficult. I struggle with feelings of jealousy and self-pity. I find myself comparing our timeline to that of others. I question, why us? Why did the referrals stop in the summer leaving us right at the top? Why did we have to sit at the emotionally draining #1 spot for so long? Why did tons of referrals happen right after we got ours (meaning we waited way longer than the people who got referrals days after us)? Why did the paperwork issue which put us 2 months "behind" and "sometimes just happens," happen to us? Why does no one else in our agency have a court date as late as ours? Why? Why? Why?

When I spend time in the "why me" place I feel beat up. Each blog I read or court date I see feels like a slap in the face. I have found I really hate the self-pitying, jealous version of myself (so no need to lecture me...really). I feel guilty feeling this way when I think of others who have had more trying circumstances within their adoption, like Shannon, or a longer wait from referral to travel, like Leann. My blog is an outlet and a place of reflection, unfortunately, sometimes the reflection shows an ugly heart full of jealousy and anger. One thing I have not learned is patience. You may hear me say "all in God's timing." I believe that. I believe that God has the perfect reason and answers to all of my "why" questions. I am not patient though. My little boy is in Ethiopia. He's getting bigger without me, being loved on by people other than me, learning to get by without me. Truth is, I am waiting because I have no other choice NOT because I am a wonderfully mature Christian who truly desires nothing more than God's perfect timing. I do want God's perfect timing. In my selfish desire to have my son with me, I also wish God did things my way in my time.

We don't always get answers to our "why" questions. Sometimes though God gives us answers even though he doesn't owe them to us. Throughout this adoption I have already had the priviledge of having some of my "whys" answered. When we started the process I prayed very specifically for a referral by my birthday (June 11th), court by Brian's birthday (July 29th) and travel by our anniversary (August 14th). For the first 5 months that timeline seemed perfectly reasonable. When my birthday, then Brian's birthday, then our anniversary passed and still no referral I wondered why. When we got that call on September 15th, God answered my question even though my lack of faith did not deserve an answer. Elias was born on July 22nd and I am the one God has chosen to be his Mom. Although I don't know if I will ever see the rest of the divine plan in our timeline, I am confident there is one. Faith - being confident of something you cannot see. I've sort of coined a little motto. My personal adoption motto so to speak. It isn't the wisest thing you have ever heard but it is my way of combating the jealousy and frustration while allowing myself to validate my feelings yet remain hopeful and confident. Life isn't fair but God is sovereign.

Although we can't see God's reason for my parents not passing court we remain confident that God is sovereign and His perfect plan will succeed. Although we don't know why our adoption has panned out step by step as it has, we remain confident that God is sovereign and His perfect plan will succeed. 11 months! We are ready Lord! Right now, faith is all we have.

December 9th

Please keep our family in your prayers on December 9th. My parent's court date is quickly approaching. After being assured everything was in order, they were told today that there is one additional document needed from the region my (soon-to-be) brothers are from that still has yet to arrive. Please pray that the needed document will be there in time for the Tuesday appointment. We are very much looking forward to seeing these smiling eyes in person...
For now, my sister is having a wonderful time getting to know the latest additions to the family! At least we know they are in good hands. :)

TOMS

Our Story (Part 1)

Once upon a time there was a family of 7 moving from Hood River, OR to San Diego, CA. This happened to be my family. My Dad took a position as the family ministries pastor at the church Brian grew up in. Here we are on our first Sunday in El Cajon. (My brother Jake is still the one with the funny faces in the family pictures...I guess some things never change).I am the gorgeous one in the ankle length wild print green skirt with the fabulous hair cut. Yikes. This would have been the first or second time Brian saw me. We don't exactly remember "meeting." We happened to move a few days after my 8th grade graduation and a few short days before my 14th birthday. Meanwhile this hottness had just finished his first year in college at Point Loma Nazarene. Brian helped my Dad as an intern for the Junior High youth group. When we first moved I begged my Dad to please let me go right into the High School youth group. He did. In hindsight this was a very critical decision as we only narrowly escaped Brian technically being my youth leader. Whew! That would have been awkward.

Brian and I knew each other from my freshman to junior years in High School. We saw each other at church and youth group but really that was the extent of our relationship. Brian always had girlfriends and definitely wasn't about to be interested in someone roughly the same age as his younger sister. I always thought he was so OLD. I mean he was so old he actually considered my dad his friend. I like to give him a hard time now about not being madly in love with me from the beginning. His response, "You've seen the pictures." OUCH! Actually we do both think it is best that the 19 year old church intern didn't have the hots for a 14 year old.

This is how I remember Brian back then. Cute but way too old for crush consideration. We were around each other at youth group events (like summer camp) but the memories of our interactions are few and far between. Brian swears one time I drove in his car home from Forrest Home. He remembers this because of how car sick I got. Lovely, right? I have no recollection of this event, but probably true knowing how well I do on mountain roads. Then, I remember one of the beach days we went to. I drove back with Brian and actually somehow got to sit in the front seat (he doesn't remember). We chatted the whole way from the beach to the church. Dumb conversation really about him preferring to drive barefoot rather than in flip flops yet somehow he made such an impression that he made it into my journal that night. Yep, that was the first time I recognized how nice Brian was and wrote all about him and his "niceness."

Here's Brian at my 16th birthday party. Don't give him too much of a hard time about the outfit. It was a luau themed event.

The next memory that sticks out about Brian is when he was part of plan that involved me sneaking into my first rated R movie. I don't know if it was Lori's first time sneaking into a R movie or not but we were definitely both not 17. We went to see Billy Elliott. On the drive home Kevin gave me the synopsis of another movie currently out in theaters which would not include my need illegally sneak in. We had the perfect story just in case my parents asked about what movie we saw. I'm too old to get in trouble right, Mom?

Brian moved to Washington DC to do a semester exchange at American University. Apparently there was a whole going away event for him. I would have been there but don't recall any of it. The only memory of him I have during that time was a conversation I had with his brother. Kevin and I were talking after church and he was asking me what I was interested in studying in college. I told him I really wanted to study International Relations and maybe one day work in embassies all over the world. Kevin told me that was what Brian was interested in and the kind of stuff he was doing in DC. That was the first time I realized maybe I had a crush on the wrong Gossett brother (hahaha, sorry Kev).

After 3 years my family moved again. This time we moved about 20 minutes away to a small town where my Dad became the senior pastor. In December of my senior year in high school my best friend and I ran into Brian and Kevin. We ended up grabbing Mexican food with them. I thought Brian was so cute and was surprised that he actually seemed to be somewhat interested in our conversation. I thought maybe after I got my braces off I would look older - maybe even old enough... :) Oh the braces.

My senior year continued on without Brian. He tells me now that he was interested enough that he wanted to run into me again. There was a birthday party that I was supposed to go to. At the last minute it ended up not working out. Brian had heard I was going to be there and was secretly really excited to see me. He was bummed when I didn't come (had I known he was going to be there things might have been different, maybe not, we'll never know). Boy would he have been surprised at the Autumn minus braces and a bad hair cut. It was probably best though because I was on my way off to college.

To be continued...

A Smile From Now Til Christmas

Today I went to the phone store to get mine fixed. I saw an old guy sitting down with a bunch of empty chairs next to him. Although I normally would have given myself a good 3 to 4 seat barrier (no need for uncomfortable interaction with strangers) for some reason I decided to sit right next to him despite the long row of empty chairs. Here's what happened (the stuff in parenthesis is non-verbal inner dialog):

OldGuy: Can I give you something to smile about from now til Christmas?
Me: (He seems harmless enough but with a statement like that things could get really creepy really fast) Sure, I would love to have something to smile about. I am sitting here with a broken phone.
OldGuy: Chuckle...Ok, pick a number between 1 and 10. Now don't tell me just keep it in your head.
Me: Ok, got it (7)
OldGuy: Now double that number
Me: (14)
OldGuy: Ok now add 4
Me: (18)
OldGuy: Now give me 1/2 of the total and you keep 1/2 of the total
Me: Ok...(9)
OldGuy: Ok now take your half and subtract your original number (9-7=2)
Me: Got it.
OldGuy: Now tell me, how many beautiful people are there in this conversation? (Eyes smiling)
Me: 2!!! There are 2 beautiful people. How did you DO that?!?
OldGuy: (Laughing) Everyone always knows what a frown is about but if you are always smiling then you keep 'em guessing.

My new friend then left to pay his phone bill. On his way out the door he walked by and grabbed my hand. He looked me right in the eye and said, "Remember, patience is a virtue." I thanked him for the smile and he left chuckling to himself.

How did he know I needed a smile AND some patience???

p.s. When I got back to work I tried the riddle with 2 other numbers and it still worked... :)

Counting the Days

We are still here... just little happening these days. We are actively counting down the days until the next big event - OUR COURT DATE!!

The night we found out about our court date I went home and spent way too much time making this.

I know it is a kindergarten-esk thing to do but I needed something visual to keep this process alive since our court date seemed (well, still seems) so far away. Each paper ring has the number of days left until December 31st and a verse written on it. Each night Brian and I take off a ring and read the verse together. It hangs from our curtain rod. It started out with a big pool on the floor but now it is already a couple inches off the ground!

We are down to DAYS!! Since there really won't be too much to blog about in the next month or so I decided I will tell the "Story of Us" so you all can know just how we got to be the almost family of three! Stay tuned...

4 Months

Elias is 4 months old today! So, here are 4 things we love about Elias...

1) We love that you love to cuddle! So far we have talked to 3 people who have met you and everyone says you LOVE to snuggle. We can't wait!! Your Daddy and I have already talked about how long it will be before we finally stop arguing about whose turn it is to hold you.

2) We love your precious lips! When they are fully revealed you have the perfect pucker. We talk often about how excited we are to give you some smoochin'. In a lot of your pictures your bottom lip is covered. We think maybe you might like to suck on your bottom lip. It is super cute!

3) We love your beautiful eyelashes. We just got pictures yesterday and they really show off some long full eyelashes. They make your DEEP brown eyes even more intoxicating!

4) We love your round face! Your Daddy is so excited that you "look like him!" I love both by boys and their big round heads :) I bought you some hats and now I am wondering if they will even fit. Hmmm...it is so hard to tell how big you are from pictures.

We got some updated photos of Elias B. yesterday. We were so excited!!! I cried a little. Our baby is changing so much! We are so happy that we can at least see these changes through ocassional photos. We still haven't seen him smile and I am dying to see what that face looks like all lit up! I can't post photos but what I can tell you is we are dealing with a serious CUTIE!!! There is absolutely no bias here...all will agree he is adorable!

Congratulations to Bethany, Kami, and Melissa who all got their travel dates! December 7th!! Michelle and Jana we are praying for sweet reunions with your little ones on Monday!

Calling All Elves

Thanks to the future Mimi we are having a fundraiser to help us put a dent in the estimated $3800 we are currently short for travel expenses. The fact that we have come this far in the adoption debt free still amazes us. Thank you to all of you who have supported us through prayers and financial gifts. We truly could not have done this without you! When we first contemplated this adoption Brian's biggest concern was finances and I told him we would just have to go on faith with this one. This was a temporary role reversal for us as normally I am the one worrying about money. Anyway, God did not let us down and we thank you who were a part of that. If you're feeling guilty because that sentence didn't apply to you, NOW is your chance to redeem yourself (just kidding!).

My Mom has organized a fundraiser for us on Saturday December 13th. We will be working a gift wrapping booth at Walmart on Los Coches from 8am-8pm. Our booth will be just outside the exit doors. Here's what you can do to help:

1) Donate Supplies

• wrapping paper
• ribbon
• bows
• tissue paper
• gift bags
• shirt boxes
• tape

2) Work a Shift - no you don't have to be an expert gift wrapper. A so-so wrapper will do. So don't let that be your excuse! We are talking about Walmart in East County people so I can't imagine expectations will be that high. I am kind of kidding :) If you are thinking about being offended, don't be. I shop there too.

3) Come by the booth and let us wrap your gifts! (Although for you we will be expert wrappers and not just so-so wrappers).

News

Well we received news of our court date, December 31st! What a way to end 2008 :) We definitely have mixed emotions. We got a little more detail as to what happened to our baby boy's paperwork. Apparently his paperwork had to be authenticated and this "just took longer" for our son than for others. We are trying not to dwell on the fact that it took a couple months longer and are working on being grateful for what we have: 1) paperwork that is in order and 2) a court date. Christmas will be difficult. We started this process in January specifically so we wouldn't be in the exact position we are in. We didn't want to know who our baby was and yet be separated for our first holiday. Unfortunately, each step of this process has taken quite a bit longer than anticipated. We are hoping that the end of December means a better chance of passing court the first time around. Right now it is really hit and miss with our agency. If we don't pass the first time we will be rescheduled. Since the Ethiopian Christmas is in the beginning of January, we were told a rescheduled court date may be 6-8 weeks out.

God has really been working on our hearts and minds during this time of waiting. We have learned more about what it means to truly rely on God. We have felt God nudging us toward a new life direction. We aren't quite ready to publicly share the details but we can see how God is using the adoption to help move us in a direction that He wants us to go. I know this sounds cryptic and we will share more once we have some confirmation one way or another. Right now we are moving along on life direction A. We have felt God calling us to follow life direction B (which happens to be everything opposite of the current direction A). If we pass court on December 31st, we can already see how that would be perfect timing for us to continue pursuing life direction B. If we don't pass court on December 31st, it will absolutely close the door on pursuing life direction B at this time. That might just mean we misunderstood God's timing or He has something totally different in mind and pursuing direction B was just preparation.

What we are sure of is God did not create us to let our passions go to waste. God has given Brian and I similar goals, desires and dreams. These are very specifically and uniquely ours. He did not create us to be typical but to be passionate and to act with purpose. We know that God has the next 3 months and 3 years of our lives planned out. Despite this predetermined nature, we are supposed to present our requests to God. Please help us pray that we pass court on December 31st. We would love nothing more than to become parents in 2008!! Please also pray that God continues to show us His plan for us. We are ready and excited for direction B but we want to have open hearts if God has something different in store for us.

Baby Showers

So this post is really over-due but here are the photos of our baby showers. We had a great time and are very thankful to everyone who came to help us celebrate. Mom, Aunt Tammy, and Emily thank you so much for putting it all together. I asked for beautiful and that's exactly what we got. We are blessed!

Photo Tag

So I was tagged by Michelle. I am supposed to post the 4th photo in the 4th file on my computer and tell the story behind it.This is Lido who used to be our cat. He is laying in the laundry basket in between the two seats of the moving truck. His "twin brother" Frisco was the A.D.D. one of the two and never lied calmly in the laundry basket. At the time this photo was taken, Frisco was probably climbing up the back of my seat or trying to jump on the Brian's lap. When we moved "home" from Washington DC in May 2006, we brought along our boys - Frisco and Lido. We created a cat haven for them in our car which we towed behind us. Their litter box, food dishes, water and lots of blankets were in the car. We cracked the windows, locked the doors and after a few hours of ear piercing shrills they seemed to actually like it. Once we hit Arizona the heat got to be too much and the kitties had to come into the moving truck cab with us where they could stick their faces in the air conditioning. Things got a little wild but all-in-all it wasn't so bad. After 6 months back in SD we were having major problems with the kitties :( Frisco broke through screens to go outside (which isn't allowed in our condo complex). He had a special friend even though he was supposedly fixed. He would run away when we opened the door and pound his head against the windows trying to get out at all times of the day or night. Shortly after they ruined our very first set of non-hand-me-down couches we decided maybe it would be best for all of us to be animal-less. So, our kitties were adopted out and we specifically asked for a nice home where they could be indoor/outdoor cats. We do miss cuddling with Lido (Frisco never could stand still long enough to let you pet him) but soon we will have a baby who can lay on Brian's belly and watch t.v. with us! Don't worry we won't adopt out our son if he ruins the furniture or tries to sneak out the window to meet with a mystery girlfriend.

I don't feel like posting links so if you want to be tagged consider it done!

Good Bye Emily and an update

Emily left today to spend a year of her life in Ethiopia. You can check out her blog here. I am so excited for her. She is going on her own as a volunteer but will be working with Celebrate Children International in their transition house for a few months. She will then be heading to a number of orphanages outside of Addis and staying at each for a few weeks or months. I have really loved having her home since she finished school and will miss her tons. I can't wait to hear all her stories though, and what God is doing in her life and in Ethiopia. (These pictures are from our graduation celebration NYC trip a couple weeks ago. And yes, the unrecognizable dark blob to the left of my Mom's banana split really is Sandra Bullock (gasp!).News on the adoption front:
I spoke with our case manager yesterday and was told she has not yet been able to get ahold of the HH director but is hoping to touch base today. We should hear more details as to what is going on with our case and what is being done to fix the problems by the end of the week. We have also learned that the previous photo misunderstanding may, in fact, be correct and all of us are more or less waiting for confirmation that other traveling families will no longer be allowed to take photos for us. I have not lost all hope yet as we haven't heard any of this from AGCI directly but we are fairly certain this will be the case. Since AGCI doesn't do child updates or photos until just weeks before travel this could mean an even more difficult next few months. We will see. We were very blessed though to hear from 2 families who traveled about our baby boy. Here is what we heard:

Hey Autumn, I held your little one in Ethiopia! He is so sweet and so very small still. He is getting better head control and loves to be held. He did NOT appreciate being put down :) He just stares into your eyes and is waiting for you to snuggle and hold him! It was such a pleasure to see him. He still looks like the picture you have just a little more filled out with a slightly rounder face. Sorry I was not able to take pics... Thank you again for the honor of holding your baby! -Connie

I did get to see B. He seemed really little and is super cute! I saw him outside in the courtyard the last day (Doug escorted us over). Most of the time he was sleeping, but he seemed like a very content and happy baby when he woke up. -Kendra

Thank you so much Connie and Kendra for taking notes on Elias B. These few sentences are so helpful during this temporary separation. After reading these updates Brian let me know he is ready to snuggle!

Prayers and Praises

Congratulations Cosgrove Family on bringing Maleia home! Their homecoming video is great! Congratulations to Michelle & Michael and Jana & Rob who all legally became parents (again) on 11/3! They will be traveling in a matter of days. CB & Shannon, Melissa, Kami & Eddie, and Bethany & Aaron we are praying for favorable outcomes for your court cases this week.

Brokenness

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Psalms 51:17

I haven't written the past couple days despite the fact there has been so much going on. I decided to act on the advice, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." It is time though to share what has been happening, express my feelings and let you know of our need for prayer. Last Wednesday Brian spoke to Christy to talk about the changes in the court process. She didn't know the specifics of where our case stood which worried us since others were being given specific court dates and information. We finally connected this Tuesday only to hear that there was information for all the families whose papers had been submitted for a court date and ours was mysteriously missing. After explaining how desperate we were for answers Christy promised she would do some investigating. The possibilities included the following: 1) We had already had a court date, had failed, and our rescheduled court date was not yet known; 2) We had a court date sometime soon (like others who received referrals around the same time we did) but we were accidentally left off the list; 3) Maybe our file had been misplaced and we had not yet been assigned a court date. Surprisingly I faced these possibilities with relative peace, at least for a few hours.

The reality that something bad could have happened really set in on Wednesday. This was coupled with a misunderstanding that maybe we wouldn't be getting pictures (like I said a misunderstanding, which has since been corrected) but the combination was enough to send me into a tailspin. I couldn't stop crying and skipped youth group for fear that well meaning people who love us might ask about the adoption. After sobbing and praying until I couldn't think anymore I dealt with it like most people would. I put on some sweats, took medicine for the pounding headache, and ate a dinner consisting solely of tater tots, jalapeno poppers, starbursts and wine. My face was puffy so I washed off the makeup only to see blemishes that weren't there that morning. I don't know what it is about raging hormones and zits but when my emotions are going berserk that is the last thing I want to see. I forced myself to calm down and watched a cheesy 80s movie with Julia Roberts. It was exactly what I needed. When Brian came home he sat next to me and asked how I was doing. I said, "better." As he got up to go do something else I lost it. My lip started quivering, I had to blink really fast to keep from crying again, and grabbed him begging him not to leave. Geez, the poor guy just wanted off the couch.

Thursday was rougher. I reached a place of complete brokenness. I was angry and sad. As I was driving home I heard over the radio "Just trust God. Forget the fleeting, forget the things you can't control. Just trust in God." And then this song came on and I felt it expressed me so much more than I could express myself.

I’m not alright

I’m broken inside, broken inside

And all I go through

It leads me to you, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride

Bring me to my weakness

Until everything I hide behind is gone

And when I’m open wide

With nothing left to cling to

Only you are there to lead me on

Cause honestly, I’m not that strong

I’m not alright

I’m broken inside, broken inside

And all I go through

It leads me to you, it leads me to you

Brokenness before God is not a fun place to be. I found myself crying, praying, listening, and just being - completely humbled by such overwhelming heartache and fear of the unknown. I have certainly learned adoption is not for the faint of heart. I also know that my God will never ask me to do that which is more than I can handle because He will not leave me.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalms 34:18

Maybe God just knew I needed something to bring me to a point of complete surrender and brokenness of spirit. I won't pretend to know why but what I can cling to is the promise of scripture.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

Today we found out a little information as to what happened to our case. It was not what we wanted to hear.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:19

Although we were told a few times that our paperwork had been submitted to the courts as soon as they opened, the reality of the situation is quite different. Although our file is in order, our son's is not. His paperwork was done incorrectly and has not yet been fixed. What this means is our paperwork has not been submitted to the courts yet and we have not yet been assigned a court date. At this point it is unknown when the corrections will be made as it rests in hands outside of our agency. It is therefore unknown when our paperwork will be submitted. What we do know is the courts are already booked until the end of December. So best case scenario, if the social worker in charge of the corrections gets them done quickly and our paperwork is submitted soon, we are looking at a court date in January and travel late January or February. This best case scenario seems doubtful as it has already been 2 months since our referral that our son's paperwork could have been being corrected. There are also any number of things that could keep us from passing court our first time around.

There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord. Proverbs 21:30

We love Elias and we want him to be with us so badly. We must also remember that he is God's child first and God loves him more than even we are capable of. Please pray that the corrections would be made soon, that our agency would be diligent in their follow up, that we will be assigned a court date soon, and that we pass the first time around. We know God's timing will be perfect. We are trying to focus on this but find ourselves speculating at what could possibly be God's reason to have this delay happen to us. Unfortunately, peace comes and goes in fleeting moments and brokenness and despair can often cloud our optimism. We are doing what we can to trust but our hearts are so involved; it is hard to have the faith of a child when every human urge is to cry out asking "why?"

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait on Him.' Lamentations 3:22

Change

Sometimes change is good but it can be hard to accept. We are currently in the middle of a big change in the Ethiopian court process. A new step has been added and all paperwork is now being reviewed by an additional entity. We have been told that this new step will add time to our adoption. Unfortunately that is all we know. The time frame is uncertain. This additional step is aimed at ensuring the legality of adoptions and trying to keep children with living biological parents if at all possible. We anticipate hearing more details soon (rumor tells me we might even be allowed to know our court date). For now it feels as though all we can do is pray. I have been praying that we pass the first time around, whenever that might be, as we want our baby boy home as soon as possible. We have also been praying for the other families in similar situations to ours and hope they hear good news soon so children can be united with the families that love them so much.

6 Weeks

Today marks 6 weeks waiting for travel. It is getting harder with the more time that passes. There are certainly people who have waited much longer than this and I don't envy their wait. A travel group was announced for the first week of November. It is so exciting and nice to see movement for anyone. This also means that we will get PICTURES!!! We are so anxious to see how much our baby boy is changing and are looking forward to having a new picture to stare at! We still have no idea when our court date is. Based off of my parent's paperwork and knowing ours was there as soon as courts opened, I am pretty confident we must have a court date in November. Unfortunately we will not know until that date has come and gone. Right now we are praying that whenever our court date is, we pass the first time around. If this happens I am hopeful we can still travel by the end of the year. For now we are passing the time as best we can by focusing our hopes on photo updates and trying to keep our minds off of the unknown court date.

3 Months

Elias is 3 months old! So, in proper adoption blog fashion I am going to tell you all 3 things I LOVE about Elias:

1) I love his piercing brown eyes
2) I love all 10 of his LONG toes
3) I love his very serious scrunched eyebrow look

And here are 3 things I can't wait to find out about Elias:

1) What it feels like to hold him
2) What he looks like when he smiles (since he has that serious scrunched eyebrow look in most of the pictures we have)
3) What his personality is like - is he content? a screamer? happy?


**My parents got their court dates - December 9th! We can't wait to find out if that will be the day 2 more boys are added to the family!

Our Baby Boy's Name

We had a great time at the showers and one of the most exciting parts was sharing our baby boy's name with all of our family and friends. You should have heard the cheers and clapping when Brian said we were going to finally share the name we have picked! The night we got our referral I made Brian sit down and we made a list of all the names we liked. We narrowed it down from 20ish to 4... here they are: Lucas, Micah, Elias, Isaac. And the winner is -

ELIAS

Elias is a common Ethiopian name and is the Greek version of Elijah meaning Jehovah is God. Two of my favorites were Eli and Silas and then we came across this Ethiopian combo. We waited until we saw pictures of our little boy and it just seemed to fit. Since we wanted to keep his Ethiopian birthname as his middle name, we also wanted to find something that sounded good together. We (no actually just Brian) decided we needed a few days of discussion to make sure nothing better came up. Then we received some strange coincidences (I think not) and we knew Elias had to be it! These strange coincidences were when Brian was walking around on a break and saw this sign

Notice it is called the Elias Salon. He e-mailed me this "I was seriously thinking of getting back to my desk and looking up names, when I looked up and saw this. A sign?" Well, yes, Brian, it is a sign. What's really freaky though is I was looking at a junk mail letter from a lady with the last name Elias at the very same instant. Woah.

Unfortunately we can't disclose his full name until he is legally ours but it will be

Elias [insert birthname here] Gossett

More Referrals!

Congrats to Whitney and Jared on their referral of a baby BOY! AND since 2 referrals is better than 1, congrats to Matt and Emily on their referral of a baby GIRL! We are so excited for all of you!

Tagged

I have been tagged by my friends Amy and Leann. I guess multiple tags mean I must do my best to share seven random/weird things about myself.

1. I love the seat warmers in my car. I don't get to use them that often since it is usually warm in San Diego. Sometimes though I just want the comfort of a warm back so I turn the AC on and the seat warmer at the same time.

2. I crave salad. Not just any salad. Dave and Buster's Southwestern Chicken salad. We go out to lunch every day at work (rough, I know...) and I usually insist we go there at least once a week. There have been a couple times though that my cravings have been so bad over the weekend that Brian and I go there because I can't wait until Monday.

3. Although it took me 6 years and 4 schools to get my degree, I never changed my mind about what I wanted to do as a career and therefore never changed my major.

4. My feet are always dry. I think it is because I wear flip flops or sandles every single day. Luckily I have a husband who loves to rub my feet and actually does so, with lotion, every single night before bed.

5. I have to wash my face every night before bed. I am mildly allergic to make-up. If I fall asleep on the couch Brian has to wake me up to make sure I wash my face. If not, I wake up about 2 am with burning, itching, watery eyes and have to go do it then. I have recently decided maybe I should invest in some biore wipes so Brian can bring my face wash to me on the couch.

6. In high school I was in choir. We went on a trip to France. My Mom was there as a chaperone and my sister was also there. We were touring Versailles and it was time to get back on the bus. My Mom, sister and I were slacking and were definitely in the back of the group. As we were walking quickly to catch the bus, we passed a group of school children on a field trip. My Mom told the little boys I was an American movie star. They swarmed me asking for pictures. There were tons of kids all around me and we are all dying laughing (especially my Mom) who was taking pictures for these kids of them with the "American movie star." I gave the last boy a kiss on the cheek and all his friends thought he was SO cool. I wonder if any of them jumped online to try to figure out who I was...

7. Brian calls me curly toes. The reason why is because when I am really relaxed and sitting down I curl my toes under my feet. I don't even realize I do it but he always likes to point it out.

Now I am going to tag:

Sarah

Nellann

Dawn

Renee

DeeDee

Erin

Emily

Now I have some really exciting adoption news!!! My Mom found out that yesterday their paperwork was submitted to court. AND they were told they should be getting a court date assigned today!! We are guessing it will be sometime the end of November/beginning of December. I will let you know as soon as we find out. For those of you wondering how long it takes to get assigned a court date after your paperwork is submitted, there you go - 1 day!

Presents for the BABY

We are allowed to send the baby presents. Whatever we can squeeze into a gallon ziploc bag. Here's what we chose: a lovey made by Mimi, a lion stuffed animal, 2 outfits from Mimi (which won't fit by time he is home :(, a rattle/teether/squeeky toy, and a photo album. Obviously we don't expect the baby to be lying down staring at our pictures so we bought a fabric album that has a little mirror and all the photos are placed into shapes. If nothing else it will be a nice toy to slobber on. All of the items have the baby's name on them. My really shifty sewing job on the lion and lovey name tags will give the special mothers at HH a good laugh at my expense. After I was basically done, Mr. Boy Scout offered to "help" his wife out. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm the Mom here. Please don't embarrass me by showing me you can do a better whip stitch.Here is everything shoved into the gallon bag! It took a couple of attempts to get everything rolled properly. Brian didn't understand why I felt like we had to zip the ziploc bag. He insisted that they just told us we had to put stuff in there not actually close it. We managed to get it zipped, whew. Look what we got in the mail for the baby?! These fabulous burp cloths came from Nellann. I have to admit my favorite though is the CUTE tie onesie. I can see him now rolling up to church in his jeans, converse, and tie onesie! THANK YOU NELLANN! We love it!

Weekend Forecast - Showers Ahead!

Brian and I are super excited about this weekend!! Although it will be 80 degrees, this weekend will be full of showers! We are lucky enough to have amazing friends and family who want to help us celebrate the soon-to-be arrival of our little boy. (That "soon" is all relative of course, since nothing in this process feels "soon"). My sister, Mom, and aunt have been working hard planning a very special day which happens to be this Saturday!! We will be graced with the presence of family and close friends on a day to honor our little boy and our passage into the realm of parenthood. As if that isn't cool enough, we get to have a second shower on Sunday after church for all of our church family. We are both really looking forward to a weekend all about this little boy whom we already deeply love and whose arrival is so very highly anticipated. Yeah for babies!!!

*And yes, you read correctly. We are both really excited for this weekend. A few months ago Brian asked if he "had" to go to the shower. I said no. When it actually came time for the shower and he found out we weren't planning it around his soccer schedule he was bummed because he thought he would "get" to go. I know some of you are probably on the verge of passing out thinking that a *perfectly normal* man wants to go to a baby shower. The thing is, it isn't just any baby shower. It's our baby shower. When baby Gossett was just a unknown baby the shower wasn't such an exciting idea for Brian. I am pleased to announce though that Brian is smitten and after seeing the photos of his son and taking in the reality of the situation, he doesn't want to miss a single part of this experience and (to the chargrin of my father who would rather be at the dentist :)) this includes the shower. So, if you see him there don't gwak like you are seeing an odd species at the zoo. He's a sensitive fellow :) and I'd like to encourage him to remain just the way he is!

Monthly Update

Well we got our monthly update call on Friday. I had a list of questions ready for Christy despite the fact we were touring a winery. We found out a lot - some good, some bad. First of all, because of his family history (which we are choosing to keep the sharing of this to a minimum) we had questions as to whether or not our son's birthmother named him or if someone at HH named him. We found out that the staff at HH did not name him and his birthmother did in fact choose his name. Both Brian and I were really hoping this was the case as we feel anything he has that came from his birthfamily is so special and will someday be of a lot of importance to him.
I also asked about the court process. Here's a rundown - as soon as we accepted our referral, our paperwork was sent to MOWA (Ministry of Women's Affairs). It is simultaneously taken to the Federal Courts. We are assigned a court date. MOWA reviews our dossier and then it is sent to the Federal Courts. A few days after we pass court we are issued a court decree and will receive a travel call (usually 2-4 weeks out) with our visa appointment date (when we must be in Ethiopia). I did confirm that we do have a court date scheduled although AGCI will not tell us when it is set for. I asked for a vague clue (like maybe which month) and was given the polite "not our policy" speech. Ugh. At this point my gut feeling is that our court date is scheduled for December although there is a chance it is sometime in November. I was also given a list of reasons why so many people do not pass court the first time around. We are really hoping to be some of the lucky few who pass with flying colors at our first court date.
We also talked about pictures. The last picture we have of our son was taken 7 weeks ago. For some reason I was under the impression that AGCI would send us new photos once a month. I guess I got this "child update" mixed up with "monthly updates." Apparently we only get one child update and it is right before travel. The families who had their referrals during the court closure got photo updates at the end of September but this was a special circumstance. Our only chance of receiving photos of our little guy is from travel groups of families going to pick up their children. Unfortunately, it still might be a while before the next travel group. I had my expectations set really high. I thought since we knew right where he was and they have a digital camera that getting photos once a month wouldn't be too hard and even though we aren't together we would still get to see how our son is growing and changing. I am already trying to imagine how much he has changed in the last 7 weeks of his 12 week life... Above all I am trying to be thankful for the 15 photos we do have at the tender ages of 3 weeks and 5 weeks. Many countries only give out one referral photo so I am working of being grateful for the photos of a beautiful and healthy baby boy rather than focusing on what we don't have. I guess I will just have to try and make up for it with thousands of pictures once we are together!We have a travel call on the 22nd where we will discuss the travel group plans. We probably received our travel packet with all of this information while we were gone this weekend so we look forward to going through that. It will be fun to start planning the details of the BEST TRIP OF OUR LIVES!!!

And We're OFF!

No not to Ethiopia. Although that would be nice. We are headed to Napa Valley for a long weekend! Now I could be really melodramatic and tell you we are on one last get-away before our lives change forever and only God knows when we will ever get a chance to be alone again, but I won't. Brian and I have always wanted to go to Napa and we thought it would be the perfect gift to celebrate the fact that we are both done with me being in school. Now there was a time when we were too scared to plan anything in July for fear of having to cancel if we passed court and quickly had to rush to Ethiopia. We now look back and laugh. Oh July would have been way too easy. Things have changed. They slowed way down after the lightening paced paperwork phase. I am even dreading the fact the we might be able to plan a valentine weekend away. Hopefully that is just pure pessimism with no hint of reality but with international adoption you just never know. We have been told not to hope for Christmas, probably January for travel, but a slight possibility of February...ugh. Of all the things we have learned it is that we are so far from being in control it isn't even funny. Really not funny.

So, back to our trip! We are taking off for a long weekend since we really don't know when the next time we will have an "adults only" weekend will be. After forced separation the first (most-likely) 6 months of our baby's life, I can't imagine we would be ready to drop him off with a sitter and take off for a romantic get-away anytime soon. All you seasoned parents might laugh at that statement but it is hard to imagine ever leaving our little guy when we want so badly to be with him now. We are both really excited for a time to relax, enjoy each others company away from the hustle and bustle and fall back in love. Whenever we go away for a couple days we come back so much more in love and ready to face whatever life brings us. Since we are closing in on potentially the most trying part of the adoption process (waiting to pass court) I think it is the perfect time for rejuvenation.

**Side note: Today is exactly 9 months since we first turned in our application to AGCI. I can see why God thought 9 months would be the perfect term to carry a baby. I am definitely ready TODAY to "have" this baby!! We will continue to wait on God's time to be united (and not just because we really don't have a choice:)) but because we know His time is perfect!

Congratulations Amy

Congratulations Amy and Jason!! Their family just received the referral of a sweet baby girl. We are thrilled for all of you - including the new big sister and brother! We are so excited for you and hope we all get to travel soon.

Shannon, we are thinking of you and hoping you hear wonderful news soon.

Courts Are Open!

Today is September 29th which means the courts are officially OPEN!! OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN!!! Although Almaz is still rumored to be on vacation I confirmed with AGCI that someone IS taking our file to the courts. And since the time is 10 hours ahead of us here on the beautiful Pacific coast this means there is a very good possibility that our file has already been submitted!! In 1-2 weeks we will be assigned a court date although this date will remain a mystery to us courtesy of AGCI. The reason they do this is because for reasons outside our control (usually) families often do not pass court the first time around and I guess this is one emotional roller-coaster they want to save us from experiencing. It is my understanding though that we will be given a vague idea of when our court date is. SO - things we can all pray for would be 1) to have a court date assigned to us quickly and 2) to pass court the first time around. These are the next BIG steps which will pave the way for the much anticipated travel dates!

Brothers!!!

So - as promised I am going to tell you all why my Mom was in Ethiopia and able to buy me all sorts of cool stuff for the nursery.

The answer: BROTHERS!!!

Ok so here's how it all happened. Back in May I started really praying for one of the waiting children with AGCI. I can't really say I was "considering" him because I knew the situation wasn't realistic but my heart was very burdened for him to the point where I kept having dreams about him. I was telling my Mom how much my heart hurt for this little boy and how I wish so badly that he had a family. I secretly e-mailed our case worker to ask what the oldest age we could adopt was. After a couple days I heard back - 5 years old was the oldest. Now this boy was 2 and 1/2 times that in years. Since I knew a ten year age gap between parent and child wasn't "appropriate" I hadn't actually been considering pursuing his adoption but if AGCI hadn't said 5 yrs. old I might have really tried! I shared this information with my Mom. Meanwhile she was thinking maybe God was calling she and my Dad to adopt this little boy. I was thrilled! They prayed about it for a long time. There are currently 5 of us kids. I am the oldest and the youngest is 15. They obviously had a lot to consider. One morning they shared with me that they had finally decided that God was calling them to adopt this waiting child that had been on my heart and theirs for so long.

The next business day my Mom called AGCI back to let them know they had finally decided to officially pursue adopting this boy. What happened next was heartbreaking. AGCI's social services department had never had a parent and child pursue an adoption at the same time and when made aware of the situation did not agree. They were worried about the effects on the adoptive children and did not feel our family was capable of being 100% excited and invested into both adoptions at one time. They were also concerned that there would be negative effects on Brian and I if and when my parents traveled and completed their adoption before us. Despite arguments to the contrary, AGCI told my parents they must postpone their adoption until ours had been finalized for a year. Absolute heartbreak ensued. Was this God closing the door? How could they have such peace about something that was so wrong? This was not a quick decision but something that had been lifted up in prayer for months. One night my Dad told my Mom "maybe our son just isn't at HH." Not knowing what he had said, I told my Mom the same thing the next morning. My sister who was in Ethiopia at the time had e-mailed my Mom about the same time telling her maybe they should just pursue a different agency. The final decision was if they were making the wrong decision God would have to slam a door because they still thought this was the right decision.

Although my sister was in Ethiopia at the time, that was just for a short layover on her way to Burundi. She was planning on going back to Ethiopia for all of 2009 though and suggested my parents look into the organization that she was planning on working with. What they found out quickly confirmed God's plan. At an orphanage in a very rural part of Ethiopia there were 150 boys ranging in age from 3-15. The organization sponsoring the orphanage experienced some turmoil which led to the 150 children being supported by the adoption agency who was having trouble finding families for older boys and having a hard time financially supporting such a large facility. Somewhere along the way 1 boy turned to 2 boys :) and the paperchasing began. Through a secure site for adopting families my parents were able to see photos and some bios on the 150 boys. How would they choose only 2? The director of the adoption agency was going over to Ethiopia for business and asked my Mom what she wanted to know from the children they were considering. My Mom explained that picking your children from photos was difficult and she just wanted to know their personalities. The director semi-jokingly said "well you should come with me then." We had assumed all along that no one could travel until the adoption was finalized. We quickly found out this was not an Ethiopia rule just an agency specific one. After a phone call to my Dad my Mom was on the phone with a travel agent buying a ticket to Ethiopia and departing 3 days later.

She flew to Addis and was there for 12 days. In the middle of the trip they made the 14 hour trek to the orphanage that my brothers were at. She spent a few days there with the children and made the decision of which boys would be added to our family. This was a very difficult decision as we can all imagine. She said there were many we would have been blessed to welcome into our family. Her stories and photos of Ethiopia were wonderful to see. The best part though was learning about the two soon-to-be additions to the family. We think they are about 8 and 10.

Soon the paperwork will be at the courts and we will all be closer to bringing the newest boys in our family home! We can't think of a more wonderful experience for our baby than to have 2 uncles who can tell him all about Ethiopia.

Nursery Know How

Due to popular demand :) here's how we did the more creative elements of the nursery -

1) Fabric Canvas Collages (for Adanise) - we bought canvases and fabrics from the clearance section at Joanns. I thought I was buying small sections of fabric but ended up with tons left over so buy really really small amounts. Without trying to sound stereotypical we just picked fabrics that we liked and looked "African" to us. We stapled a piece of fabric over the whole canvas. The fabrics on top (the shapes and letters) were just hot glued on. It was really easy. The most time consuming part was cutting things out. The harder things (like the letters) we did by printing out the shape, hot gluing that to a swatch of fabric and cutting out with an exacto knife. The CHOSEN and elephant canvases I did after my Mom suggested I use wonder under. The process of getting them ready for being cut out took longer but overall it was much easier using the wonder under than hot glue and exacto knife. I had never done anything like this before and somehow got this idea in my head. Very beginner friendly.

2) The Amharic on the wall - hmmm. I googled Amharic Bible and was able to locate the verse I wanted thanks to the references also being in English. At first I thought I would freehand two verses. Um, no. I decided two verses was pushing over-achiever status and I needed to bring it down a bit. The Amharic letters are very detailed. Stencils would have been nice but how do you make Amharic stencils anyway? Again my Mom who didn't want to get within 10 feet of this project suggested the easiest thing to do. We borrowed an overhead projector from church. We then tried printing on the transparency (didn't work) and tried to print out the letters to the perfect size to trace onto the transparency (didn't work). Finally we ended up getting the perfect size on the computer screen and very gently tracing directly from the screen onto the transparency with a marker. Good thing Brian wasn't home or we would have not been able to do that. We then projected the writing onto the wall (in sections because it was too long to all be projected at once) and used tiny paintbrushes to color in between the lines. The wall texture did not make it easy. Overall it took about 4 hours (including prep time) for one short verse.

For Renee - the children's stool is small but surprisingly comfortable for us bigger bottomed people. It fit lying down on its side into a standard size suite case. It is solid wood so no fear of it breaking during transport. My Mom also said they had larger "adult" stools too.

It was all well worth it!!