#1 Take 2?

We received our e-mail update from our agency and found out there were some referrals in the past couple weeks. With a couple of infant girls referred, there is a strong possibility that the couple ahead of us could have received a referral after we heard we were #2 in line. Of course this is all speculation and will remain unofficial until the first week in September. Unless of course we get a referral between now and then. Possible but not probable. But for now I will choose to think that we are in fact AGAIN # and could still get a referral in time to have our paperwork at the courts when they re-open on Oct. 1. I am feeling very ready for the next phase in our adoption process. I am over the counting, the lists, the speculation. With each bump the excitement becomes less of a bubbling-over feeling and more of a deep underlying anticipation. What difference does it really make if we are #1 or #2? We've been on this wait list, waiting to learn who our son is for 18 weeks! When we started this process in January I truly believed we would be in Ethiopia right now. Holding our baby. I was not supposed to be sitting here in mid-August wondering if we are still #2 or back to #1 or if we will have our baby boy at Christmas. I find myself feeling frustrated yet trying desperately to cling to the knowledge that God is soveriegn and His plan is a perfect one.

Although I may become annoyed with the waiting and the numbers, I have a hope and a promise that is bigger than our silly wait list. I ache to be with our son. To know his face. To hear his name. To hold him. I find myself being comforted only by the promises we have in Christ. He has a specific plan for our family - a good and perfect plan. So regardless of whether we are #1 or #2 we continue waiting for His plan to be revealed.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:23-24