8 Months Ago

8 months ago we met a screaming little boy. Our screaming little boy. Being home 8 months with Elias and being pregnant has me reflecting a lot on the concept of family and what it means to be a parent.

I have nothing profound to give you here...just my hormonally charged thoughts. 8 months ago I loved Elias Besufikad. From the moment I met him I felt like his mother. He was my son, no question. On that day I can honestly say I would have given my life for that little baby boy.

Now 8 months later the instinctive, protective mother's love I felt for Elias has grown into something deeper. I am in love with him. Madly in love with him. More than I thought possible for one person's heart to hold. Being a parent is about unconditional love and for the first time in my life I completely, 100% understand unconditional love. As a sinful human my son is bound to disappoint and hurt me at some point in our lives (and vice versa), probably on numerous occassions. Truly, nothing he could do would change the love I have for him. Being a family is about loving others more than you love yourself. There is certainly always room for improvement here but I hope I show my husband and son how much they really mean to me.

When we were considering adoption and talking to other adoptive parents something I heard on more than one occassion was that having both biological and adoptive children is different. The love is not less or more but it is different, your feelings toward the children are different. Now, I certainly would not pass judgement on those who were kind enough to be so incredibly honest with me. I understand that not every parent attaches easily to their children (regardless of biological or adoptive). When I was on the outside of things though these comments did create a genuine concern for me. I worried about what I would do if I felt differently toward our future children.

Now, as a mother the only feeling I have is that of a mother's love. I don't want to over simplify the attachment process or lead people to believe it always just comes as naturally as it did for me. I just know for me, the only small piece of this question and fear left in my head is can I love a second child as much as I do my first? Now if that was a true fear I wouldn't be pregnant now...it's more of a ponderance as I didn't know it was possible to love so much before Elias so how could my heart possibly love even more? I know it will. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that my love for my children won't feel different.

8 months later, now more than ever before, I am wholeheartedly convinced that blood has absolutely nothing to do with creating a family. I am so grateful for adoption because without it I wouldn't have my son. A son who could not by any biological means be any more mine than he is right now. I am excited for this pregnancy. I am excited about our next adoption. The bottom line is regardless of the road we take with each child, I am excited about my family!

14 Months

So Elias turned 14 months old (earlier this week...I'm a bit behind). He is such a joy. He certainly keeps us busy. Although he is learning new words often, we are starting to hit a wall in our ability to communicate which has led to a sudden increase of whining and temper tantrums - from the baby mostly but sometimes from me too.

At 14 months Elias is all about one thing and one thing only. ELMO. Elmo is spoken of often by Elias. In fact, Elmo is now his clearest word. All things red invoke cries of "Elmo, Elmo" out of this cute little Elmo obsessed boy. His Mimi bought him an Elmo blanket. Elias does a running dive into the Elmo blanket where he collapses into shouts of glee proclaiming his love for Elmo and smothering the furry blanket replica with kisses. He then expects Mimi, Mommy, Papi, Daddy or whoever else is around to also kiss Elmo. A couple days ago at Seaworld his great Aunt Tammy bought him his favorite Elmo yet. Here he is holding Elmo while watching Elmo. Does it get any cuter?

Of course we can't forget to makeout with Elmo whenever possible!

Man, being a kid is exhausting!


Elias has also learned to respond to burps (especially his own) with "grow" (gross). Apparently I tell him burps are gross often enough that he picked up on it.

He has also started to learn the parts of the body. He started to become fascinated with bellys and belly buttons. Elias will walk up to anyone and everyone, lift up their shirt and point to their belly button. When we were in Tahiti his Mimi taught him the word belly button so now if you ask him where his is or where yours is he will show you. He is pretty good with pointing out his nose but the other body parts are still a bit jumbled.

He has 6 teeth which are super cute and make him look so big!

Elias still loves to read. His favorites right now are
He also still loves all things water
Elias is so much fun and we are loving being a part of all he is learning and doing!

Great News!

God is so good! We just know Elias is going to be an awesome big brother! We can't wait to welcome "Baby G" into the world sometime on or around April 23rd! We are 10 weeks along. Yes, I've been feeling sick. Nope, no baby bump...although it would be nice because that would mean the nausea would have subsided enough for me to actually eat :) We are so blessed!

Referral Day

One Year Ago Today

We got the call that would change our lives forever!

My Life With A Toddler

Had you asked me before I was a mom, "is a 13 month old a toddler?" I would have laughed at you for asking such a silly question. Of course not. A 13 month old is a precious, innocent, cuddly, sweet little baby still, right? WRONG! A 13 month old is as toddler as toddler could possibly get.

My sweet baby now has a fairly permanent nickname of stinker. I'm pretty sure if you were around us and said, "hey stinker" he would respond just like he does to his given name. So, what are my little guy's favorite toddler antics at 13 months old?

#1) Back talking. I kid you not. It may not be decipherable words to the common human but I KNOW he is back talking. The "no" is very clearly understandable. Beyond that it's all about the tone of voice (eek, I sound like my mother) and the ATTITUDE! When I tell him not to do something he looks me straight in the eye and in a not so nice voice back talks for a good 20-30 seconds without taking a breath. I was explaining this one night to my parents at dinner. Elias wasn't eating. I told him to eat his food. And right on cue the back talking began. Papi laughed. Mimi said no laughing. Then I tapped on his high chair and said, "take a bite." So he stared me straight in the eye and tapped on the high chair....mocking me! Mimi couldn't stifle the laugh on that one.

#2) General Mischievousness. Let me tell you a story about a naughty little boy! We were taking a shower (as we usually do together) but had to actually be out the door in 25 minutes. No biggie. As I'm shampooing my hair I realize the water isn't draining. I look down to see this culprit
Yep, that's a purple plastic easter egg which my son threw into the bathtub, pulled in half, and then shoved into the drain. It wouldn't budge. So I ignore it and finish bathing us both. I get out and dry off. I get Elias out and dry him off. I put him in a clean, dry diaper. I then decide the bathwater is really nasty. So I ran the 5 feet to our kitchen (yes, our condo really is that small), grab a steak knife, and head back to the bathroom. Now, I've been a Mom long enough to know you don't leave a child unattended in a bathroom alone when there is a couple feet of water in the tub...so I literally ran - it took me all of 4 seconds. Yes, I ran with a steak knife. When I enter the bathroom here is what I see

I'm thinking, seriously??? He got into the bath by himself and was already playing. In 4 seconds. He loves his baths...can you tell?

"What Mom? I didn't do it! Now since you already called me naughty doesn't that make it okay to be even naughtier and stand up in the bath, which I know is a no no?"

"Hi Mom, I love you! Are you really going to call me a 'stinker' and 'naughty' when I smile like this?"

So I pry the easter egg out of the drain with a steak knife. Then I decide instead of a fight I'll just use my brain and outsmart him. Sometimes I can still manage that. So I start brushing my teeth. Quite possibly the only thing he loves more than water. Soon he is asking to be aut (out) and teess (teeth). Got him right where I want him!

Out he comes. I dry him off and put on post bath diaper #2. In the 4 seconds it takes me to put toothpaste on his toothbrush he manages to play with the toilet plunger AND start unrolling the toilet paper. I grabbed the toilet paper from him and since he is so strong he managed to hold on to a good size chunk. He then started ripping it into minuscule pieces as I frantically tried to pry it out of his hands. My kid can do a lot of damage in 4 seconds.

Amazingly we got out the door on time. No, my hair was not done but who cares? I have a toddler.

Some Highlight Photos

Here are some of our highlight photos from our 5 year anniversary trip to Moorea (French Polynesia) the next door neighbor of Tahiti. We had a great time! We were there 4 nights, 5 days and 2 red eyes so it was really 6 full days away from Elias. By the last day we were both ready to get home to see him! Thank you grandparents for taking such good care of our little man for us!