Adoptive Parenting 100

So we had our first adoption parenting class last night. This is a series of four classes we are required to take through Adoption Alliance (our home study agency). There were six adoptive families represented at the class. Three of us were adopting from Ethiopia (very popular), one from China, one from Taiwan, and one from Ukraine. Now we had no idea what to expect going in to this class. We knew it was going to be 2 and 1/2 hours (wow) and it went by surprisingly fast. We learned a lot about common medical issues with internationally adopted children, brain development, and probable developmental delays our child will have. A lot of this was covered in our online classes we took for AGCI, but everything was covered in a bit more detail than online. We found out some things specific to Ethiopia. Intestinal parasites, like Giardia (which we knew) are common. Also, something we didn't know was that Tuberculosis is also very common for Ethiopian adoptees. This can also be commonly misdiagnosed because a certain vaccine a lot of international orphans have causes them to have the skin reaction when tested for TB. This is one reason we were strongly encouraged to take our child to an international adoptive specialist pediatrican because they are aware of these things. Apparently there are only 60 specialists and one is in the San Diego area. She has a ton of experience and will look at our referral for an evaluation to help us make a decision. She will only do this evaluation if we intend on being lifelong clients. I plan on looking into whether or not she accepts our insurance. On a different note, we found the situation in Ethiopia is one usually in which the parents have died or the child is relinquished because of poverty (which again we knew). What we didn't realize was this means the child has most likely lived with birth parents and or relatives and has usually had a loving environment so it is likely that our child won't have the emotional and developmental delays as severe as children from other countries might. We also viewed some sample referrals. One thing I learned about referrals (which now sounds silly to me that I didn't know this) was that you can ask questions. After taking your referral to a pediatrician for evaluation we can go back to the agency with a list of questions (if we have concerns) before making our decision. I guess I just always assumed they give you what they know and there is no way they will be able to get any more information for you. We also learned that the point of these classes is to inform us but also to help us network and meet other families in similar situations. Now I don't have high expectations of really significant relationships because our differences are so glaringly obvious, but I hope I am wrong. The majority of the room was of my parents generation, not mine. Regardless of whether we are in our 20s or 40s+, if our relationship to an 18 year old is that of sibling or child, or if we have a job or a career, we do have the adoption process in common. We learned last night that we all have the same questions. We are all nervous about the plane ride home and the potential for it to be a disaster, we all wonder what shots we need to get, and we all wonder who our child is and when we will meet him/her. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised and this commonality will over come all of our other differences allowing us to learn and grow together.