Ethiopia Day 6 (Wednesday)

Day 6 of our trip had only one thing scheduled...birthparent meetings. Our appointment was at 10am. Before Brian and I had been matched with a child and what turned out to be well before Elias was born, we prayed for his birthmother. We prayed for strength, courage and health. We prayed she would have comfort and peace as she faced such a difficult decision during this huge life changing event. We prayed that she would personally know the love of Jesus. Another thing that we hoped and prayed for was that our son's birthmother would want to meet us. We thought this would be so special and important to our son later in life.

When our appointed meeting time arrived we walked to HH. We got there and she hadn't arrived. We played with the children. We watched the special mothers dote over Elias.

I took photos and video around HH.

The front doors

The living room where we watched him sleep

The stairs leading to the hallway where we first met him and his bedroom

The first place I bathed him

The first place I changed him

I got yelled at for taking video and Brian took photos of me getting yelled at because he thought it was hilarious. Meanwhile, it was 10:15am. We continued to work to stay distracted while we became more and more anxious. Another 15 minutes passed. Still, despite being a 1/2 hour past our appointed time I remained hopeful. We had prayed for this day and I so desperately wanted this for my son. After 45 minutes I looked to Almaz in desperation asking her if she was going to show. Almaz said, "she probably will." Probably was not promising. I thought that I could not pass any judgement if she had changed her mind as I might not be brave enough to face my decision had our roles been reversed. Then we heard a knock on the gate.

Immediately I had butterflies in my stomach. Elias was with a special mother (in a bouncy seat, go figure) and I bent down to pick him up. I looked over and saw her walking toward me. It was obvious I was the one she was there to meet. As she walked closer Almaz stepped in. They exchanged words in Amharic and then she pointed to Elias as Almaz nodded that yes, this was her son. Instantly the tears started flowing down her cheeks. As Brian walked to join us my heart was completely broken. I handed Elias to her as we walked into Almaz's office. Elias started screaming so she handed him back. When he instantly calmed in my arms a wave of guilt rushed over me...I knew her heart was aching.

We presented her with a letter Brian and I had painstakingly written. Almaz started to translate until Elias' birthmother could take it no more and asked her to stop. She said she would try to read it later. Then I gave her the photo album I had made for her. She looked at each page and as she did so we all cried. Although we needed a translator to communicate, no words were necessary. Adoption reflects joy, pain, sacrifice, loss, hope and love. In a few brief moments we all experienced these emotions at a level so intense it was shocking to our systems.

I will keep the details of our conversation private as Elias' history is his to share but I got what I wanted out of this meeting. It was extremely difficult. At one point Almaz who was translating looked at Brian and I and said "you guys are a bunch of cry babies" as she reached for a tissue to wipe her own eyes. Our meeting was short and I didn't ask many questions at all. There were and are a lot of things I would like to know but it just wasn't the right time. What I wanted was to be able to look my son in the eye and tell him the truth. I got that.

Elias,
I saw her, I touched her, I hugged her, I held her, I spoke to her, I cried with her, I looked her in the eyes and I know she loves you.

We hung around HH for another hour or so. Once all the families had their meetings it was back to business as usual. We all met with Almaz to pick up our children's passports and visas. Since we had done the cultural dinner the night before we were now back to a situation where it was early afternoon and nothing else was planned for the day. We were all getting so sick of hanging at the hotel. We wanted to go shopping but the van wasn't available. We ended up walking back to the Union where we decided we would chip in and hire a couple taxis and have Emily be our tour guide.

Traci stayed back with the older kids. Brian had been planning on going but ended up having a headache and an upset stomach. After such an emotionally exhausting morning it was really no surprise. Brian stayed back with Elias, Alemu and Israel while Emily took the rest of us adults shopping. We went to the textile market by Entonto Mountain very close to the U.S. Embassy. We got great deals and had a lot of fun.
Then we went to the shops near the post office which ended up being the same place the others had gone the day Brian and I stayed behind. I picked up a lot of touristy type stuff there. After a couple hours we headed back and had dinner at the hotel.

Emily had to go back home because she had kids to take care of but Almeu and Israel decided they wanted to spend the night with us at the hotel. Brian and I fell asleep while the boys watched Spiderman (big surprise). At one point I woke up to someone yelling in Amharic. It was Alemu yelling at Israel to move over because somehow he ended up lying diagonally when they were squeezed together on a twin bed. At that moment I remember being overwhelmed with love and joy. Here we were in Ethiopia. My son was sleeping in between Brian and I and my brothers were a few feet away acting just like brothers should. In that moment, life was perfect!