Today marks 7 weeks of officially waiting. At this point I think we are about #9 or #10 in line for a little boy. We will find out sometime this week what our new official wait list numbers are. The last 7 weeks have gone by fairly quickly and seemingly pretty typical. I have been busy with school and work while Brian stays busy with church stuff and now soccer. On Sunday we went out to dinner and I was thinking about our baby and picturing how so many things will change for us once we have our little guy at home. I asked Brian if it felt like we were expecting a child. His reponse was "NO!" We were talking about how this might feel more like a reality if we were watching my stomach grow. Instead of watching tummies grow we are just counting the days that have passed with no idea how much longer we will be counting. There is no sense of getting any closer just a sense of many question marks in our future. We both thought the wait list would bring a huge sense of the reality to the situation very quickly, but it hasn't. Yes I know we are in the process of adopting but since we are at the waiting stage now and not feeling like we are actively making progress it still seems so far off. I am afraid that this entire process is going to seem somewhat like a 9 month long day dream and then BAM! we are in Ethiopia and taking a child back to our hotel room and we aren't just babysitting and won't be giving him back. Maybe when we see a picture this will seem so much more real and we can have a couple months to mentally prepare for becoming parents! In the meantime, we will just keep counting (like counting makes a difference when you don't know what day you are counting toward...) and hope reality sets in at some point before we travel.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
7 Weeks
Today marks 7 weeks of officially waiting. At this point I think we are about #9 or #10 in line for a little boy. We will find out sometime this week what our new official wait list numbers are. The last 7 weeks have gone by fairly quickly and seemingly pretty typical. I have been busy with school and work while Brian stays busy with church stuff and now soccer. On Sunday we went out to dinner and I was thinking about our baby and picturing how so many things will change for us once we have our little guy at home. I asked Brian if it felt like we were expecting a child. His reponse was "NO!" We were talking about how this might feel more like a reality if we were watching my stomach grow. Instead of watching tummies grow we are just counting the days that have passed with no idea how much longer we will be counting. There is no sense of getting any closer just a sense of many question marks in our future. We both thought the wait list would bring a huge sense of the reality to the situation very quickly, but it hasn't. Yes I know we are in the process of adopting but since we are at the waiting stage now and not feeling like we are actively making progress it still seems so far off. I am afraid that this entire process is going to seem somewhat like a 9 month long day dream and then BAM! we are in Ethiopia and taking a child back to our hotel room and we aren't just babysitting and won't be giving him back. Maybe when we see a picture this will seem so much more real and we can have a couple months to mentally prepare for becoming parents! In the meantime, we will just keep counting (like counting makes a difference when you don't know what day you are counting toward...) and hope reality sets in at some point before we travel.
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6 comments:
Autumn,
Counting may not make you feel closer to the reality that you will be parents very soon, but it sure does give you something to look forward to each week. I have hearts on my mirror that were numbered 1 - 17 (our initial placement on the wait list). When we got our referral in 50 days, I left the numbers up (we were at 13) and began counting down the weeks to travel. We have 5 hearts left and still no news of travel, but I do love ripping those things off my mirror every Sunday after church. It makes me feel closer to Grace, and helps with the waiting. You've moved so much, I can't wait to hear when you get that referral call.
Autumn I feel the same way. At #24 it seems so far away, almost like it is not real. I hope maybe by #3 or #4, when a referral is imminent, I will feel like it is all happening. This counting business at least keeps us busy guessing, especially since they won't give out new official numbers until NEXT week!
Amy
I can't imagine how hard the waiting process is. At least I'm in the part of the process that I have control over. I know it's going to be hard once that dossier gets sent in, because then it's all out of our hands. Thankfully you had a pretty low # though to begin with - thats good!
~Dawn
We get our official numbers next week??? Really!! I guess it is the beginning of the month.
I can't wait to hear what the new numbers are!
Michelle
I so relate to your comment "like counting makes a difference when you don't know what day you are counting toward". I feel that way a lot. If I only knew WHERE I stood. Am I in the second trimester? The third? Am I 30 weeks, or 34 weeks? my friend joked that I should wear a pillow on my belly, just so that I could FEEL like I'm carrying this baby visibly, to help with putting my mind and heart around this process. I have started setting mile markers for me--things to look forward to, things to pass the time more quickly. But boy, do I hope we hear of more referrals soon! (and travel dates!) thanks for being vulnerable.
Hey, I have news for you. I am friends with the family that was #1on boys and they got their referral yesterday so you are unofficially #8. Congratulations.
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