It has been 10 weeks of waiting on the wait list. So far the movement has been extremely discouraging. To date we have moved three spots in 2 and 1/2 months. Not exactly what we had been anticipating. When we first got on the list it was after a couple months of 6-7 referrals every month. We were very optimistic that we could have a referral by this point. The fact that we don't might be a bit easier to swallow if we were closer than #9. Now #9 really doesn't sound THAT bad. At least we are in the single digits. Unfortunately, our current track record points to another very LONG 7 and 1/2 months before a referral. Now do I really think it will take that long? NO! And it better not since we were quoted a wait time of 2-4 months. Unfortunately, as certain as I am that we will not be waiting until February 2009 for a referral that is exactly the rate at which we are moving so I have no real reason to believe otherwise.
At first I was optimistic that going on the wait list the first week of April meant a shot at a baby before the courts close (August). After a while of no movement at all, I started telling myself we will have a baby in October or November. Lately, I have been feeling very frustrated and am wondering if we will even become parents in 2008!
This is one of those life situations where my heart and mind are in battle with one another. My head says it will happen in God's time. My head said there is a reason for the wait even though it might be hard to decipher what that is. My head says we have to wait for the perfect fit for our family. Meanwhile, my heart doesn't understand why it is taking so long. What could possibly be the point of no movement? Why, why, why? We came to the decision we were ready to be parents and decided to adopt. Once we came to this conclusion it was kind of like "we are ready NOW!" So what's the hold up? I know there is no lack of children who need families.
While this inner struggle continues on, I find myself constantly thinking about our little boy even though he is a stranger to me. Brian will ask me what I am thinking and often my answer is, "about our baby." I picture him in my mind. Chocolate skin, big brown sparkling eyes, a toothless drooling smile (hmm, maybe not, maybe a tooth or two), dimples, tight black curls (although for some reason I picture him being bald in our referral picture). Of course I really have no idea what our son will look like but it is still fun to think about.
All this to say the wait is getting really lame and it would be very nice to see some movement.
14 comments:
I would love some movement. We will still be in the double digits for a while. My head is always battling my heart in this wait. Right now I am at peace a little, because my head is in control and I can wait. Ask me tomorrow and my heart will be back in control and I will going crazy. I gave a presentation on orphans and adoption last week at church and several people asked why if there are so many orphans in the world it takes so long? I wish I had the answer to that question!
Amy
Hey Autumn,
i'm so sorry it is so hard. i completely understand!! :(
ive speculated that maybe the delay with referrals is because AGCI stopped referring out of Enat Alem. (i guess they used to exclusivley refer only from EA) maybe they had to build relationships and forge new paperwork etc. with other orphanages. lay some ground paperwork. maybe they had to start afresh with children from a different orphanage.
anyway, i am so sorry that it is taking so long. it is so hard to be powerless and stuck waiting. stinks!
Autumn, You will be holding your baby by Thanksgiving! Let's see how close I get.
Waiting is torture, I feel like we've been pushed through an old-fashioned clothes wringer and yet God keeps getting me through each day.
Your son is on his way. He is beautiful, and sweet, and chubby (well he will be by the time the special mothers are done with him). God is preparing his ears to hear and identify his mommy's voice, his eyes to recognize his mommy's face, his hands to pull mommy's beautiful hair, and his little mouth to be kissed by his mommy.
I can't wait to see this little gorgeous guy's face! Number 9 is so much better than 12 and it takes up less space.
Thanks for your comment. it's nice to "meet" other AGCI people. i look forward to reading about your journey!
sorry for the long wait. :( I'm definitely not looking forward to that part of the adoption.
joy
I'm with you. Waiting is hard. I thought we would be home with our child/children by now. My ticker says 10 months waiting...that's actually from the day we contracted. We started paperwork last July....it has almost been one year! The wait for our FDL sure made our wait a whole lot longer. There are families home with their children, who got printed after us.
I just keep remembering that God knows the furture, I don't. He knows the perfect time and has the perfect child/children. When I look at my past, God has NEVER failed me.
He will bring our babies home!!
You never know, there could be 10 referrals in one week.
Hang in there,
Michelle
I am with you! Thanks for sharing your heart...God Bless...Shannon
So many people in adoption can feel your pain. God has the perfect plan and the perfect timing; you can rest in that! The best part is that you will be looking at a referral picture one day and will completely forget the heartache you're feeling now. What's even better is the day you walk through the gate of HH in Ethiopia to pick YOUR son! The future is an awesome place to be, so keep thinking and dreaming about your little man:)
I can't believe we haven't heard of any referrals this week:( I sure hope we don't go through another "no referral" time.
I guess it doesn't matter.....we probably won't make courts anyway.
Michelle
Am I spreading a rumor.... but I heard there was a referral of a baby boy last Friday!! Maybe you already know that... but would that move you up a spot???
-Suzi
Well, I'll have to check "my sources" again, but I'm almost positive it was a baby boy!!
I hope we hear some good news tomorrow. I do not want to have to deal with another "dry spell" of referrals. My hearts winning today and realizing it will probably be next year by the time we bring her home and I can't imagine waiting that much longer. Waiting sucks!
Amy
No more #9!!! At least the referrals are steady, if not quite moving at the clip we would like they are certainly moving at God's!
Amy
So what do you think of the #8??? It's way better then the #9!!!!
WooooHoooo for 8.
Michelle
I know I will want to post right away when we get the call. I'll want to tell all you blogging buds...heres the problem with that. My In-laws read our blog so we have to tell them first before posting anything, just incase they read it. They live about an hour away so we will have to drive there to tell them and then will be able to post. I think maybe I will send out an email to some of you ladies....it's just so fun to celebrate with people going through the same thing!! I know our families will be so excited but you guys will know exactly what we are going through!!!!!
I can't wait!!!!! I can't stop thinking that my phone could ring at anytime!!! I have had butterflies since AGCI opened this morning!! I sure hope this doesn't take 7 more weeks....that would be a long time to have butterflies!!
Waiting with you,
Michelle
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